Chills, just chills.
How could you feel anything but after Dickinson Season 2 Episode 6?
The opera, the singing, and that kiss. Just perfection, absolutely, beautifully breathtaking perfection.
Words feel inadequate to describe the tantalizing display of brilliance we just saw, as everything about this episode was amazing.
From the visually stunning sets and costumes to the incredible performances by all the actors -- but mainly Hailee Steinfeld and Ella Hunt -- and the almost ethereal-like experience of Sue singing to Emily.
Imaginary Sue: What is it that you really want? What is the deeper yearning that you have?
Emily: Sue, what do you mean?
Imaginary Sue: Beneath all of this nonsense about fame, what is it that you crave? You crave meaning. You crave beauty. You crave love.
From start to finish, the whole thing was a masterpiece and the strongest episode of the season, if not the entire series.
Part of what made this episode great was Emily's emotional epiphany: No matter how she tries to deny it, Sue still has her heart.
For episodes, we've watched as Emily has become increasingly enthralled by Sam, to the point where she's no longer behaving like the strong young woman we met in Dickinson Season 1.
Her schoolgirl crush on the editor of the Springfield Republican has only grown since their initial meeting, and Emily has gone beyond the point of infatuation.
She has naively convinced herself that her feelings for Sam are love, plain and simple, mistakenly conflating her desire to be published, her gratitude for Sam helping her, and the romance of it all.
Emily, though, isn't to be blamed for her feelings, as despite Sam's proclamations about only having a professional interest in her, he's been heavily flirting with her since they first met.
Sam seems to get off on Emily falling for him and then abruptly rejecting her, making it seem like she's the one at fault, like he had no role in encouraging her infatuation.
He's too good at this -- making himself out to be the wronged party, the good guy -- to have not done this before with other female writers.
Look, I know it’s romantic to have your poem get published, especially when you’ve had to wait for so long. But you have to remember, Emily, the romance, it’s between you and yourself.Sam
He knows exactly how to play this game and what to say to first make Emily fall for him, then to later rip the rug out from under her, leaving her heartbroken and reeling.
If there is one good thing about Sam's rejection, it allowed Emily to realize her feelings for him weren't genuine, or at the very least, that they pale compared to her love for Sue.
Someone who felt the same way about Emily or at least cared about her would never have spoken to her that way, and Emily seems to have realized that.
Emily finally saw a glimpse of the man Sam truly is, and even if she's still confused about her feelings, she now knows that what they had -- or didn't have -- wasn't real.
Though abrupt, that rejection was a shock to Emily's system, prompting her to realize she's been not only conflating her feelings about Sam and being published but also transferring her love for Sue onto him.
For so long, Sue had been the sole reader of her poems, and all the love and desire and overflowing of emotion Emily channeled into her writing was directed at Sue.
So when this figure enters Emily's life, one who has the power to catapult her to fame, she transferred all those feelings, usually reserved for Sue, onto him, as he, Sam, has taken Sue's place as the reader and keeper of her heart.
However, his rejection was like waking up from a dream, and even if you can't understand all of it or what the make of it, you realize it's not real.
Emily: I’m just here to tell you how amazing you are.
Adelaide May: Oh, you’re one of them.
Emily: Look, I was in the audience tonight. Your singing, I have never heard anything like it. It was so beautiful. It broke my heart.
Adelaide May: Yes, that’s what they all say.
Emily: But I mean it. Listening to you made me feel things I have never felt before.
Adelaide May: Really, what’s that like?
Adelaide May: Feeling things.
Emily: But you must know what it’s like. You brought it all to life so perfectly. You made me feel what Violetta was feeling.
Adelaide May: That was just a performance. I’ve done Violetta so many times, I don’t even need to be awake when I’m on stage. You just saw the most moving performance, yet I felt nothing.
Yet, just because Emily has made these discoveries doesn't mean she'll suddenly stop having feelings for Sam.
Just like Emily couldn't turn off her feelings for Sue, even after her best friend married her brother, she won't be able to magically stop the way she feels about Sam.
If anything, this realization has made things infinitely more complicated, as Emily now has to contend with her battling feelings for Sue and Sam.
She doesn't know where she stands with either of them, only that they're both just out of her reach.
Until this episode, a future with Sam, one where they were together, was possible, even though it would have been nothing more than a cheap affair.
However, Sam shut that down in one swift kick.
And as for Sue, well, things have been strained between them ever since the wedding.
Both girls have buried their feelings for the other, as Emily loves Austin enough to let Sue go, and Sue isn't willing to give up her decadent lifestyle.
Sue: Are you going to fetch the carriage?
Austin: No, I’m going to go meet Fraiser. He told me to find him after the show for a drink.
Sue: So, what you’re leaving me here?
Austin: You can take the carriage back to the hotel.
Austin: Or with whoever you want.
Those choices have only driven the pair farther apart, as their emotional distance has become physical.
They no longer have late-night heart-to-hearts or share intimate moments; Sue has even stopped reading Emily's poems.
Whether conscious or not, they've drifted apart, and it's hard to see how they'll find their back to one another if neither of them will take that first step.
Some stray thoughts:
The opera only further highlighted just how incompatible Lavinia and Ship are, and this time it had nothing to be with his preconceived notions about her. Lavinia likes books and culture, and Ship just doesn't seem to share those interests.
Furthermore, he seemed annoyed by Lavinia's intellect during the opera and couldn't wait to get out of there fast enough.
Is Sue having an affair? Austin's cryptic reply about Sue going back to the hotel with anyone she likes seems to suggest she might be stepping out on him. It's no secret that their marriage has been strained for months, but I guess we've finally reached the point of infidelity. Any guesses who it could be?
Edward and Mrs. Dickinson may not have enjoyed the opera, but they still managed to have a good time. It was nice to see them getting along and laughing. Plus, I loved the callback to Mrs. Dickinson leaving Edward in a hole.
So what did you think, Dickinson Fanatics?
Has Emily realized her feelings for Sam aren't real?
What game is Sam playing?
Is there still a chance for Emisue?
Hit the comments below to let me know your thoughts.
Jessica Lerner is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.