Jacqueline Laurita returned to The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 6 Episode 10 - but I'm still trying to figure out why. We recap all the metaphors for going broke in our +/- review.
Kathy visited Jacqueline and of course brought dessert because that's her only role on the show these days…to provide dessert. Minus 25 because it's kind of cruel to viewers who can't share.
Jacqueline was obviously looking to reconnect with Teresa and was hurt when Tre didn't make the time respond to her lengthy, heartfelt texts with more. Well, when you're looking at a possible prison term you've got redefine your priorities. You'd think Jacqueline would understand since she's doing some redefining herself.
She and Chris are selling their home. With everything going on with their son, it's time to downsize. I'm guessing blk water isn't doing very well since the only time I see it is in the background on this show. So "reprioritizing" must mean that money is so tight that they've got to sell their custom built mansion and move down to a semi-custom one.
Like Teresa. Who might have to downsize from her 12,000 square foot home to one that's only 8,800 square foot. Minus 33 because if you put together the square footage of all the homes on my block I'm still not sure we'd surpass 12,000 square feet.
And yes folks, you heard those tax totals correctly. A $26,000 a year property tax bill is not unusual in New Jersey. It's actually somewhat reasonable for a 8,800 square foot home. Minus 22. I think it's time to move.
The flashbacks of Teresa saying how skeeved out she'd be moving into someone else's home were really funny. I guess when you're looking at the possibility of living in someone else's prison cell, it changes your perspective. Plus 41.
Melissa Gorga headed down to Boca Raton, Florida leaving Joe home with the kids. Joe refuses to talk about boys or the birds and the bees with his daughter. He'd prefer it if Melissa left that subject alone as well. She'll learn everything from the internet anyway. Minus 50. What could go wrong with that plan?
Down in sunny FLA, the ladies were admiring the shirtless pool boy. The poor thing really needs to watch out for all of those cougar claws.
The twins rubbed sun screen on their boobs while Melissa shared her nipple covers and we learned that Dina watches porn…for the decor! Plus 23 because that's a first.
Dina couldn't have said it better. The twins talk a lot. A whole lot. So much so that they become background noise. Minus 12.
But that's not nearly as bad as Amber. Yes, I'm thrilled that she got a clean bill of health if only because I no longer have to feel guilty about hating her. Plus 18. I swear, the woman must enjoy hearing herself whine. It really does make me want to change the channel and never return.
Plus 27 because I loved Dina's eye roll when Amber told her that she and JIm were headed down to Florida to celebrate. What a way to ruin a vacation.
I can only imagine what fresh hell Amber and Jim's arrival will bring. And what was the point of Jacqueline's return, other than perhaps she could use the paycheck? Tell us what you thought of Ms. Laurita's return.
Episode total = -33! Season total = -698!
C. Orlando is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.