Quotables from Week Ending March 26, 2015

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7. "Jackie Chan." Criminal Minds

"Jackie Chan." Criminal Minds
Reid: This is really good coffee, by the way. Coffee's a language in itself. ~~~ Loker: Who said that -- Dickens? ~~~ Reid: Jackie Chan

8. "But which head are we going to mount over the fireplace?" The Good Wife

"But which head are we going to mount over the fireplace?" The Good Wife
Diane: Aren't you having fun? You hunt deer. I hunt clients. ~~~ Kurt: But which head are we going to mount over the fireplace?

9. "You texted Castle and not me?" Castle

"You texted Castle and not me?" Castle
Kate Beckett: You texted Castle and not me? ~~~ Kevin Ryan: Well, when you have a crazy theory you don't call the voice of reason.

10. "Oh please." Once Upon a Time

"Oh please." Once Upon a Time
Regina: Oh please, I was torturing people back when you were still playing with puppies.

11. "Pass." Scorpion

"Pass." Scorpion
Sylvester: It's a box held up in the sky by a lawn mower blade. Pass.

12. "How long since I've been to confession?" Supernatural

"How long since I've been to confession?" Supernatural
Dean: How long since I've been to confession? Sam: Never. Dean: That's too long.

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TV Quotes Quotes

Cheryl: Well, well, well. Stop the presses! The Riverdale rag finally reported a story accurately. Not only is there going to some hideous janky parade snaking its way through town, you four are the architects of this outrage.
Veronica: What’s your problem, Cheryl?
Cheryl: My problem, Veronica, is that the Fourth of July is a day of tragedy for Riverdale. Not celebration. Or have you forgotten what happened to my poor brother Jason?
Betty: Cheryl, Riverdale hasn’t held a parade out of respect for what happened to your brother in like years. It’s time.
Jughead: I mean, you don’t have to come.
Cheryl: Oh, I’ll be there, Insufferable Smurf. Front and center. With a sign of protest in one hand and a horn of compressed air to silence any revelry in the other.

Amanda: You don't know how you made it to the surface?
Nolan: No, but the purple skins do.
Amanda: Purple skins?
Nolan: I'll tell you on the way