Cheryl: Well, well, well. Stop the presses! The Riverdale rag finally reported a story accurately. Not only is there going to some hideous janky parade snaking its way through town, you four are the architects of this outrage. Veronica: What’s your problem, Cheryl? Cheryl: My problem, Veronica, is that the Fourth of July is a day of tragedy for Riverdale. Not celebration. Or have you forgotten what happened to my poor brother Jason? Betty: Cheryl, Riverdale hasn’t held a parade out of respect for what happened to your brother in like years. It’s time. Jughead: I mean, you don’t have to come. Cheryl: Oh, I’ll be there, Insufferable Smurf. Front and center. With a sign of protest in one hand and a horn of compressed air to silence any revelry in the other.
Kevin: Okay, Veronica, I’m obsessed with everything that just happened. Veronica: Thank you! It helps to be off-book and in full costume. Betty: Don’t be so modest, you are the literally embodiment of Chris. Never has a role been perfectly typecast. Archie: Betty! Veronica: What was that, Betty? Betty: I mean think about it: Spoiled rich girl, check. Major daddy issues, check. Bad to the bone, trying to control everyone around her, including her boyfriend and best friend. Check, check, check.