The humans want to figure out to get to the Good Place. Michael says he needs to design a special vehicle to get them there, which will take a few days to create. The humans tell him he needs to hurry.
Michael enters a few commands in a virtual computer, and a hot air balloon descends. Jason calls shotgun.
The humans sit, eating frozen yogurt and speculating on what their new home will be like. Among Chidi's wishes is for soulmates to be real; Eleanor is visibly saddened when he says this.
Janet appears, saying the balloon is ready. Janet says that each person must step on a scale before entering. If they are the best version of themselves, they will be permitted to board; otherwise, they will not. Eleanor, Tahani, and Jason are all permitted to board, but for Chidi, the scale turns red.
The others disembark and they meet to discuss Chidi's concerns. He mentions how there have been 802 different versions of themselves, and he has no idea which version is best.
Eleanor eases his mind by telling him that if they are the best versions of themselves, it's because of him, making his current version best.
Chidi steps on the scale again and is permitted to board. Tahani and Jason are likewise allowed, but Eleanor isn't because Chidi is in her head.
She returns a necklace she stole from Tahani on the first night and steps on the scale again, but it still turns red. She realizes it's because the best version of herself is the vulnerable, emotional, honest one from the tape Mindy St. Claire showed her.
Eleanor asks Michael to tell them more about that version. Eleanor was really into ethics. She once handed Chidi a tissue before he sneezed, and the simple act of anticipating his needs made Chidi fall for her.
They took a walk around the lake one night and had their first kiss and their relationship bloomed form there.
Tahani suggests that the green light people go ahead to the Good Place and send the balloon back for the red light people, but the light turns red when she tries to board.
Janet says she is, by definition, the best version of herself, but Eleanor challenges her. Janet steps on the scale and it turns both red and green.
Michael finally explains that the whole balloon thing is fake. He has no idea how to get into the Good Place and never has.
Michael admits to having lied to the humans. He thought he could buy himself some time, saying he tried a billion different ways, but none worked.
While he was doing this, he was also taking Chidi's ethics class, simultaneously learning the error of his ways. It was rock bottom for him.
Jason asks what will happen now. Michael believes they will go to the Bad Place and he will be retired. Michael asks if they're mad, but Eleanor says she's just disappointed.
Eleanor suggests they ignore their problems and drink.
That evening, Tahani sits down with Jason. She suggests they end their relationship so she can stop relying on others for her sense of self-worth. She says that in life, whenever she faced an obstacle, she simply said, "I would like to speak to your manager," but she can't do that in a relationship.
Jason goes off on a tangent while Tahani tries to bring him back to the point, but she eventually thanks him for making the talk a little easier.
Eleanor and Chidi chat over drinks. She tells him she has feelings for him, and though she knows he doesn't feel the same way, she wants him to know the truth.
Chidi describes his constant inner monologue as a fork grinding in a garbage disposal. He wishes they had met in a more conventional manner so he could think clearly.
As a group, Eleanor makes a toast to the current version of themselves. Tahani toasts Eleanor, Jason toasts Janet, and Chidi toasts Michael.
Chidi says that Michael made a mistake and admitted he was wrong, making him better than 90% of humans.
Eleanor tells Michael they forgive him because he was trying his best.
They declare him an honorary human and give him a "human starter kit" containing car keys, band aids, a stress ball, and a Dr. Oz diet book.
The humans, Michael, and Janet dance together. During "Unforgettable, Chidi and Eleanor seem to have a moment as they slow dance and hold hands, with Eleanor's head resting on Chidi's chest.
The six gather, having a late night picnic, when texts form Shawn arrive. Shawn says the humans will be captured and tortured soon, and that he'll send for a train for Michael tomorrow.
The humans talk about what they think the Bad Place will be like for them. They joke around about Tahani's bad place, ending up saying that she'll demand to speak to the manager.
That gives Tahani an idea, and she asks Michael about the judge who decides on disputes between the Good and Bad Places. Michael says it's a non-starter.
The only way to get to the judge is through a portal. To get there, they'd have to walk through the Bad Place undetected, get through the portal, somehow convince the judge that although they didn't go through the proper channels, he should hear their case, and somehow win an unwinnable case.
Eleanor says they should do it because they have nothing to lose. Michael excitedly agrees, because doing something futile with unearned confidence will allow him to feel human. He tells them all to get some rest.
The next morning, Eleanor and Chidi say goodbye to their house.
Bad Janet arrives with the train, but Michael resets her with a paperclip, turning her into a marble. He, Good Janet, and the humans leave on the train.
As the train pulls away, the neighborhood disappears.