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Jay is putting Joe to bed and him and Gloria are going through a romantic dryspell. Gloria is talking about Joe's messy room and Jay thinks she is talking about him and spanking.

She came to bed and he spanked her thinking that's what she wanted. She didn't

Mitch got orchids for a party and cam got a piano. Mitch got a new job.

Phil and Alex hanging out in the kitchen. Alex is up for an internship at MIT. Phil is trying to avoid a bully at work at the magic shop. (LA woman quote, Cam)

At the party, Claire shows up and brings the piano book over. She's talking closets with a magazine guy. Mitch is bragging at the party and everybody seems jealous, which is what he was after. Mitch's new boss is arrested for embezzling and he doesn't really have the job.  Cam collects phone so they can all talk without technology.

Jay is talking to Claire about his and Gloria's sex life and the spanking. Claire says that women want it all about the mind and not the body. He's trying to get Claire to enter the beauty contest to get on the cover of LA Woman).

Goria is talking to Mitch at the party about the spanking. She thinks Jay is embarrassed. They are telling her to act like it never happened and maybe he wants to be spanked.

They're sending back the piano and they don't want the party goers to know. Cam locked them all in the bathroom.

Alex got the internship and brought Phil his carrotts at the magic shop. Stephanie is the bully and owns a game shop next to Phil's. They starting fighting about parking and they're going to settle it by playing wizards and warlocks. Alex takes his spot in the game.

Jay and Gloria are pretending nothing happened. "encyclopedia brown quote, Jay) Gloria spanked jay. Joe saw and yelled he would clean his room and ran away. "What the hell? I'll clean my room. I promise!" Joe.

Alex is beating the bully, but has to go and Phil has to take over. He takes a bad turn and Alex freaks out and yells at him about it. Phil explains that he did that so he could have more time to think and helps Alex decide not to take the internship because she needs to take a break and enjoy her life.

Back at Mitch and Cams, the piano is gone and replaced with boxes. They cover it and release the guests out of the bathroom. They move the party outside and try to distract from the piano.

Claire shows up all dressed up to prove the magazine guy will talk to her now and possibly put her on the cover.

Cam is playing the piano (keyboard) when Claire jumps on and breaks down the boxes. Mitch confesses he didn't get a job and the friends were supportive.

Gloria and Jay talk the whole spanking thing out and realize it was a misunderstanding. They decide to write down ideas to spice things up, put them in a hat and try them out. "Quote about the chitty chitty bang bang" - Jay and Gloria

All three couples are in bed doing different sex things. "You can keep the beard, but no talking." Claire.

Modern Family
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Modern Family Season 9 Episode 14 Quotes

The waiter! I knew he was flirting with you!


Mitch: Who are these men?
Cam: What are these things I don't do?