Mitchell has come to Haley, Alex and Luke to collect on his birthday fun day, a coupon gift certificate they made for him in lieu of a physical gift.
The only problem is that they forgot he scheduled his day and have absolutely nothing planned. What results is a boring day of driving around trying to figure out what to do with their "gay" uncle. Or is it?
A last minute decision to get a map of the stars takes them by Barbara Streisand's house and while he's singing Pepper Can You Hear Me..., Ray Liotta walks by with a hose. Wrong star home, but A star home! Ray is shocked to find out the kids have, but ultimately makes it into Mitchell's best birthday ever.
Meanwhile, it's Joe's first play date, and Gloria reminds Jay he's gotta stick around because that's what parents do -- watch their kids play and drink wine. The father of the other couple is older than Jay and insults him upon arrival.
He even has a daughter from his first marriage who is, no, WAS, 66 years old before she died last year. By the end of the evening, the men have had a literal pissing contest and Jay has hunkered down on the floor to do some sit ups.
Phil and Claire are out to lunch with another couple, something that upsets Phil because they don't often pick up the bill in a timely fashion, meaning they'll be the ones to pay. Claire doesn't want him to roll over easily, and he acquiesces to that suggestion in typical Phil fashion.
Two waiters change shifts before Claire accidentally flicks Phil's credit card into the air and onto the top of the check. That's when the wives discover what the hell is going on and it involves them eating crickets...but they didn't know it. Hey, at least they were roasted.
Meanwhile, Lily has a crush on a little Canadian boy, and Cam couldn't be more tickled. It's really funny to see Lily crushing...or is she? It was only later, when the play date is in full swing that Cam discovers that Lily's crush is on Rob, the boy's father. Cam has to rein her in, telling her she can't flirt with a grown man.