How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Rating: 3.6 / 5.0 (151 Votes)
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Recap

-Robin thinks Barney's taking things too far when he gets a dog to be his wingman. Victoria drops wedding hints around Ted who is oblivious until Marshall and Lily open his eyes. Nick plans a special night alone with Robin but is interrupted by not one but two of her ex-boyfriends. Lily coaches Marshall on giving advice. Ted asks Victoria to marry him, but when he can't respect her wish to cut ties with Robin, they break up. The owner of Barney's wingman calls and Robin helps him with the difficult task of returning his new friend. Ted tells Marshall and Lily that Robin can never know why he and Victoria broke up, but then reveals she in fact does down the road. 

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5
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Allow me to pass on some words of wisdom that I reeicved many moons ago. Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.You can't really rely on a 23 year old woman to have your feelings on her mind when she does anything. You just have to let things play out and you can't really sweat it. Plus, you're surrounded by talent on campus. Especially now that it's nice out. Hell, just sit on Wescoe Beach for one day during school and people watch. You'll appreciate not being tied down with a girlfriend. If that doesn't work, just go driving back and forth on 23rd street between Iowa and Wakarusa some afternoon and take notice of all the girls running. That's always good scenery and a good way to pass the time.

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 5 Quotes

Ted: Why wouldn't she just come right out and say what she wants?
Marshall: Men! It's like if there weren't pickle jars to open and spiders to kill and computers to back up, what would be their point?
Lily: MmHm.

Ted: Victoria is happy we're taking things slow.
Marshall: Oh oh honey sweetie baby. No thirty-two year old woman is happy taking things slow. Trust me, Victoria has got friends from high school posting pictures of second babies on Facebook and you think girlfriend's all like, oh lets just bone a bunch so I'm another year older and still single? Bitch please!