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Peter learns from Cleveland's Jamaican psychic cousin Madame Claude through a palm reading that he had a fascinating past life as Griffin Peterson a dignified gentleman.
Peter imagines his friends and family in three of Stephen King's most famous works.
Brian tries to drink away his sorrows when he learns Jillian is getting married and he wakes up in bed next to Lauren Conrad. Brian wants out of the relationship until he realizes LC may be the perfect match for him... if he can get over Jillian.
Stewie starts going to the gym with Peter after he gets beaten up by Joe's baby daughter Susie. He gets pretty ripped, but Peter reveals that he's been giving him steroids.
After Brian is arrested for drug possession he launches a campaign to legalize marijuana. Mayor Adam West passes the law and the whole town goes to pot. Brian then protests to re-ban marijuana and Mayor Adam West passes the law.
Meg becomes a born-again Christian and tries to convert Brian from atheism. Meanwhile Stewie is furious that he doesn't get to ask the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation any questions at a convention so he kidnaps the cast and forces them to hang out with him.
Lois lands a job at Fox News and has to shoot an investigative exposÃ© on Michael Moore but loses her job when her story implicates Rush Limbaugh instead.
Peter cashes in an old raffle ticket from 1989 and wins a golf outing with O.J. Simpson, who he befriends Simpson and brings him home to meet the family. Quahog as a whole is not too pleased.
Peter participates in some medical experiments to pay off his debt made by a mentally disabled horse including one that sees him getting injected with the "gay gene."
Bonnie finally gives birth to her baby, a girl named Susie, with whom Stewie falls for and will do anything to win over her heart. Meanwhile Joe borrows $20,000 with a plan to pay off the debt.
Peter does everything so he can to receive a promotion at work but he must first be sent back to repeat the third grade in order to qualify. Meanwhile Frank Sinatra, Jr. returns to Quahog to buy the local nightclub with Brian.
When Brian gets injured during a take of Peter's version of Jackass the Griffins realize that Brian may be getting too old so Peter brings home a new dog prompting Brian to leave.
Peter gets a lasting supply of gasoline for the year so the family decides to use it to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon.
Mort Goldman accidentally steps into Stewie's time machine and goes back in time and Brian and Stewie follow to retrieve him in 1939 Poland.
Peter gets a record for his favorite song "Surfin' Bird." Then goes to the record store for another copy and discovers Jesus working as the store clerk.
Brian sets his sights on a girl named Carolyn and follows Stewie's advice to take things slow with the relationship only to drive her crazy and straight into Cleveland's arms.
[when he has an orgasm with Carolyn] Wait. Wait! Wait!! OHHHH!!! And boom goes the dynamite.Cleveland
- Permalink: Wait. Wait! Wait!! OHHHH!!! And boom goes the dynamite.
Stewie: Ah, things'll work out for you. Now, come on, let's forget our problems and get lost in the world of books. [picks up a book] Ooh! "Horton Hears Domestic Violence in the Next Apartment and Doesn't Call 911!"
[Cutaway to Horton the Elephant sitting in a chair reading a book. From another room, we hear a couple arguing]
Man: You think it's easy working all day?!
Man: You think I like it?!
Woman: I don't think it's easy, but, yes, I do think you like it!
Man: No, I- yeah, I like being away from you, 'cause I can't stand looking at you!
Woman: You- [we hear a blow land. She screams and starts sobbing]
Man: Hey, you think I wanna do that?! YOU THINK I WANNA HURT YOU?!
Woman: NOT IN FRONT OF THE BABY- [we hear another blow land, and another scream, followed by more sobbing]
Man: I DON'T WANNA HURT YOU! YOU MAKE ME HURT YOU!
Horton: [to himself] I'm sure there's two sides to this.
- Permalink: Ah, things'll work out for you. Now, come on, let's forget our p...