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Brian becomes a substitute teacher at Chris' school and is moved to a classroom of troubled kids.  Meanwhile, Chris falls for his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, to promises to be with Chris if he kills her husband.  When Lois finds out, she and Stewie try and teach him a lesson.

Family Guy
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Family Guy Season 4 Episode 2 Quotes

Chris: Why is everybody acting weird?
Lois: Chris, honey, we know what you did. And I have to say, honestly, I don't approve.
Chris: What I did? Oh, that I lied about my age to get into Indian bingo?
Peter: Uh, no.
Chris: That I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but still no.
Stewie: How is that close?

Chris: Hi, everybody! What's for dinner? I'm starving!
Peter: My god, his bloodlust is unquenchable!