The guys are at the Clam telling stories.
Joe got the keys to a boat so the guys are taking the boat to the lake to go water skiing. After taking forever to get the boat in the water, Peter just decides to drive the car into the water.
Peter wants to know why Cleveland won't go into the water and it turns out that water makes gremlins come out of him.
Mort is wanted by the FBI for some drug scandal and Brian and Stewie are trying to find him to get the reward.
Quagmire is water skiing when he gets attacked by a shark who bites off his penis.
The guys are in the hospital with Quagmire as Dr. Hartman tries to lighten the mood about Quagmire's lost penis. He shows them a video of Peter trying to get his boat into the water and the laughter makes Quagmire feel better.
Brian and Stewie arrive in Florida to look for Mort. They go to Pit Bull's house to see what he knows.
Brian and Stewie find Mort and handcuff him. Brian learns that Quagmire's penis was bitten off. He laughs.
The guys try to make Glen feel better but fail miserably.
Quagmire has decided to take up ventriloquism as a new hobby. They all attend his first show with his doll, Edgar. Quagmire wants to kill himself and the guys run on stage to talk him out of it. They pass the gun around and everyone hears a message of what the gun will do for them. If Peter uses the gun, he'll get free tacos.
Brian and Stewie talk about how they are going to save Mort from the mob.
Glen's dad visits him to talk about the situation. Ida offers Glen his penis which will be surgically restored on Quagmire.
The surgery commences and the operation was a success.
Brian and Stewie make a deal with the mob to get Mort. As the exchange is about to take place, the cops show up and take the cops away. It turns out that Mort was working with the Feds all along. Brian and Stewie get nothing because Mort wanted the 10 grand.
The guys are at the clam and Quagmire talks about the trouble he's having with sex.