Archer: You know, when I was little I used to pretend you weren't my mother.
Malory: Me too.

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Sterling Archer, Malory
Archer Season 1 Episode 5: "Honeypot"
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Archer Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

Woodhouse: I'm afraid the lemur got into the pudding cups.
Archer: Yeah, like I told you he would, you idiot.

Malory: Jesus, God, Sterling... School girls?!
Archer: Those are just costumes.
Malory: And I suppose that makes it better?
Archer: Doesn't it?