Leslie: Do you have someone you can talk to Joan?
Joan Callamezzo: Yes, a few years ago I accused Jennifer Lopez of stealing my look, and I got quite a back and forth with her attorney.
Leslie: No, friends Joan.
Joan Callamezzo: Look around. I’m surrounded by friends. Every night I do a show for them called “Joan on Joan for Joan.” I recount legendary Joan Callamezzo moments like how I scored by EGOT.
Ben: You have an EGOT?
Joan Callamezzo: Yes, I’ve been banned from all four ceremonies.

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Parks and Recreation Season 8 Episode 0: "A Parks and Recreation Special"
Parks and Recreation
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Parks and Recreation Season 8 Episode 0 Quotes

Ben: The most incredible thing happened. OK, so today I’m cleaning the house and get dizzy from the cleaning supplies, and then I homeschool the kids -- but they don’t learn anything because of the dizziness. But then I had the most amazing idea. Do you remember this guy?
Leslie: Oh no.
Ben: Ah, but here’s the twist. Do you also remember this?
Leslie: Oh no, oh, no, no, no. Oh no, no, no.
Ben: Six words babe: Cones of Dunshire the Claymation movie. The entire story just popped into my head. This humble little nobody, living his life, walking around on a random Tuesday when suddenly he finds out from an ancient scroll that he is actually the Ledgerman.
Leslie: Honey, did you put all the caps back on the cleaning supplies?
Ben: Now, the title is either “Cones of Dunshire: The Ledgerman’s Ascent” or, of course, “Cones of Dunshire: The Curse of the Arbadoo’s Prophecy.”

Hi, my name’s Bobby Newport, and as you can see I’m in Switzerland at my family’s private hunting estate, but I haven’t caught any yet. They’re so fast. You get close, and it’s like, zoom, they’re gone.

Bobby Newport