Alan: Where did you get that?
Jake: I found it on the table.
Alan: Oh, Jake...
Jake: It's okay, I'm eating on the side without the teeth marks.
Charlie: Puberty, my ass. That's a missing chromosome.


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Characters:
Charlie Harper, Alan Harper, Jake Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 13: "The Soil is Moist"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

Charlie: How do you feel about bushes, Herb?
Herb: Well... I like a full bush, the way God intended.
Charlie: I like them trimmed.

Cynthia: Hi, Jake, look how big you're getting.
Jake: It's called puberty.
Charlie: It's called donuts.
Jake [looking down at his crotch]: Donuts don't make hair.