Snooki: Eventually Sammi's gonna find out, and ... I don't know what to do. It's just a big ball of f*%kness. That's a new word: f*%kness.

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White's in in Miami... what if you get your period? It's ruined.

It's not a good idea to come in here with a boyfriend.

Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to treat women, and I feel like this is why the lesbian rate is going up in this country.

Snooki: Wanna f*%k?
Vinny: Sure.

Ow. It hurts my vagina.

I'm walking blind here! Do you have any pickles?

Guy on phone: May I speak to Angelina?
Snooki: No, she died. [hangs up]

The glasses are all bling bling ... But when you put them on you can't really see. So I don't think you can drive with them because you can't really see.

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