I know that Deena wants to make out with Mike, but doesn't want to be too forward.

Old people, they lose their sex life and that's not a fun time... that's why people always get divorced.

Stop caring and f*%k me!

If I want a beer, then I can have a beer. This isn't law school, it's a t-shirt shop.

Seriously, like, who pees in a bar?

My vagina's out.

[to Sammi] Oh my God, bitch. You're such a whore. Why were you like that?

Snooki: We still care about this girl.
JWoww: No. No. No.

This is the first night we're going out to a club. F*%king Rom & Sam are coming out. Shocker. Shocker. So what are they gonna do? They're gonna look at each others eyes and say "I love you, baby," all night? We're in f*%king Seaside, bitch - let's go to f*%king Karma.

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