When I see everyone drinking with me it's like Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

I'm so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates.

A crow comes and it starts quacking at us ... or not quacking, what does a crow do?

If you want me to cook and poison everybody and we're gonna be dead in two minutes? Whatever.

I am so excited because we are going to see the crocadillies.

That's actually one of my fantasies, for a fireman to, like, come rescue me, like put out my fire literally, with a fire outcome.

One [fireman] is tall, tanned... and he looked Italian, so I woulda smushed that, yes.

[Vinny's] like my big brother, I love him. But usually you don't have sex with your big brother.

I'm not sure what lobsters eat, but I think they eat like insects or something ... so I was gonna feed them worms.

It's all good in the hood.

JWoww: Oh no, he's gonna drown!
Snooki: They live in water!
Vinny: It lives in salt water, you idiot.

[her list of criteria for a man] Tanned; guido; juicehead gorilla; big sense of humor; likes to party; fist-pumps; frolics; isn't a jerkoff; a dork at heart; pays for meals; smells good; nympho; likes pickles; takes interest in my hobbies; very protective; not so serious; likes to sleep in.

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi Quotes

Friggin' duck phone!


He's a really good guy. That's the kind of guy I need in my life. I think his name is Ron.