I remember I [masturbated] all day once and the next day I couldn't even move.

It doesn't come up "Stripper Pole" on my credit card, right? 'Cause my Dad would be like "what the f*%k?!"

Seeing Jenni crying and breaking down... it breaks my heart and it makes me want to find Tom and chop his nuts off.

It just keeps eating at you and eating at you and then when you don't find a guy, you just get more miserable and more depressed.

I couldn't even tell you how I felt in that jail cell. It was like a f*%king phenomenon ... I'm not a phenomenon. I'm a train wreck.

Snooki: This is the things I think I'm addicted to: Bronzer, boys and alcohol. I'm f*%ked up.

I don't want to drink anymore, but I feel like if I was sober, I'd be bored.

Every time I get really excited, like if we go to a club, I have to poop my pants. If we go to a party, I have to poop my pants, if I go on a date, like this, with a hot guy, I have to poop my pants.

Any Pinot's okay. Pregnant people do it.

It's kinda like a disease to Snook-for-Love. It's worse than a staph infection.

I'm a f**king good person!

Snooki: Where's the beach?
Onlooker: It's right there. Where else would it be?

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 112 in total

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi Quotes

Friggin' duck phone!

Snooki

He's a really good guy. That's the kind of guy I need in my life. I think his name is Ron.

Snooki
× Close Ad