Whoever I have babies with has to be Italian. I want my kids last name to have a vowel on it... and be tanned, obviously.

[to Sam] Your mood is good, your nails are good.

I can have a good time without drinking, f*%k you alcohol.

I definitely want to try again with Vinny, I actually named his penis Moby Dick.

Thank you, Mike, because you're an a—hole and we hate you and you're a bad person and you were born in 1965.

Whatever... f*%k my life. Sh!t happens.

Can you look at me real quick?! WATCH THE ROAD!!!! But do I look hot???

If you don't want to cuddle, thanks for the braciola but no dinner dates with you and me, goodbye, never see you again.

The staircase is really small and the bed is really wide. It's kind of like an analogy of Vinny's penis not fitting in my pinhole.

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