Madelaine Petsch Quotes
Cheryl: I’d like us to find a way to work together in blissful harmony.
Ms. Appleyard: Cheryl, I’m the coach, you’re the athlete. The power structure couldn’t be clearer. As for your muffins, could I suggest a little less time baking and a little more time in the weight room?
Cheryl: My body is perfection, you crone! And you may be the coach, but I think you’ll find that the Vixens are mine. Forevermore.
Cheryl: Look, I’m not sure what Honey told you, but we don’t need a coach. I run the show around here. Howevs, we are looking for a laundrywoman.
Ms. Appleyard: From now on, we’re going to change things up. The Vixens are a cheer squad, so we’ll be focusing on cheers, not signing and dancing to pop songs. Now, gather the rest of the girls and meet me out on the field, so we can practice some drills. Okay?
Cheryl: I’m sorry. Am I hallucinating or did you just give me an order?!
Ms. Appleyard: I led my last team to Nationals three years in a row. I think I know what I’m doing here.
Cheryl: We Blossoms have always been highly carnivorous. I mean, I ate my brother Julian in the womb. And, you’re eating those meat pies we prepared especially for you.
[Fester crunches and hits something]
Cousin Fester: Oh, my tooth. What on earth?
[Fester pulls a ring from his mouth]
Aunt Cricket: What?
Cousin Fester: Is this Uncle Bedford’s ring?!
Aunt Cricket: What does this mean?
Cheryl: It means, Aunt Cricket, that you’re welcome to search the house. It means that Uncle Bedford will never be found. It means that any evidence of him ever being here is in the process of being … digested. In other words, I think you know what it means.
Cheryl: What … what are you all doing here?
Penelope: Julian needs a body, Cheryl. So, we’re giving him yours!
Darius: I went into the basement…
Cheryl: Halt! You went down to the basement, specially I ordered you not to. You didn’t go into the chapel, did you?!
Darius: No! Miss Cheryl…
Cheryl: Thistle House has never had rats!
Toni: But Babe, we did hear something last night. Remember?
Cheryl: You’re right, Ti Ti. And suddenly, I am feeling the presence of a rat. A 6” tall rat with muscles and bedroom eyes. Darius, I knew you were a mistake from the beginning, so … you’re fired. Tootles!
Your name may be “Honey,” but I will always be the queen bee. You have no power over me.Cheryl
[Cheryl hair-flips and walks away]
Cheryl: Well, well, well. Stop the presses! The Riverdale rag finally reported a story accurately. Not only is there going to some hideous janky parade snaking its way through town, you four are the architects of this outrage.
Veronica: What’s your problem, Cheryl?
Cheryl: My problem, Veronica, is that the Fourth of July is a day of tragedy for Riverdale. Not celebration. Or have you forgotten what happened to my poor brother Jason?
Betty: Cheryl, Riverdale hasn’t held a parade out of respect for what happened to your brother in like years. It’s time.
Jughead: I mean, you don’t have to come.
Cheryl: Oh, I’ll be there, Insufferable Smurf. Front and center. With a sign of protest in one hand and a horn of compressed air to silence any revelry in the other.
Betty: Cheryl, The Farm is a front. Kevin ... Fangs ... Edgar took their kidneys. There’s a refrigerator filled to the brim with human organs. The Farm is an organ farm!
Cheryl: Are you trying to get shipped off to Shutter Island, you lunatic?
[Betty opens the cooler to reveal an organ]
Cheryl: Oh my God! Is that?
Betty: Yes! Cheryl, what if this is why he keeps adopting kids? For his human chop shop. Based on the price list in the infirmary, it’s lucrative as hell.
Toni: I’m sorry you won’t get to be prom queen, babe. I know how important it was to you.
Cheryl: It’s okay, Ti Ti. Edgar gave me something better than a queenship: humility.
Toni: You can’t mean that.
Cheryl: No, you’re right. I can’t and I don’t, and suddenly being a “Farmie” is making a lot less sense to me.
Cheryl: Good morning, my dear Riverdale High constituents and comrades. A lot of you have been asking about The Farm’s student advocacy group. Well, here’s the skinny: Sign-up sheets are posted throughout the school; the club is open to all students. Where the one becomes many, and the many becomes one. So, uncap those pens, sharpen those pencils, and sign up. A little birdie told me it’s what all the cool kids are doing
Kevin: Given how much dancing there is in Heathers, Evelyn and I felt that we should bring on a choreographer. So, give a big Heathers "hello" to Riverdale’s very own Fly Girl, Toni Topaz!
[Everyone claps as Toni walks onto the stage]
Cheryl: Ummm … does anyone have a chainsaw? Because WHAT. THE. F…!
Cheryl: Ummm, did you have a lobotomy for breakfast? You’re wearing my signature color!
Toni: You don’t own the color red. Red existed before you.
Cheryl: Not at Riverdale High. Here, I invented red. I am red.
[Cheryl snaps her fingers and two girls stand behind her]
Cheryl: Sorry, but this school is not big enough for the both of us, faux-pink lady. And I was here first. Go to Centerville High or Westerberg, I don’t care. But you have until first bell Monday to clear every trace of yourself out of these halls. Copy?
[Cheryl flips her hair in Toni’s face and walks away]