Hermione: We’re not really taking this seriously, are we?
Tom: I think we have to assume this is real for our kids’ sake.
Hermione: And then what? We’re just supposed to leave them home alone all night while we run around pretending to be teenagers again?
Alice: May I remind you what happened last Ascension Night? Someone ended up dead!
Penelope: We don’t have any choice in the matter. We all know why this is happening again ... and now. Two members of the original Midnight Club are daring to get married, to be happy. And the Gargoyle King, whoever and whatever he is, wants to destroy that. He is a vicious and petty god, and if we don’t finish the game now, the Gargoyle King is never going to leave us alone.

Hermione: Alice! We promised each other we would never talk about this. I mean, who else did you tell?!
Alice: I only told Betty to protect her, so she wouldn’t play the game
Betty: And it worked, I’m not playing the game. But many of your kids are; this is about protecting your kids. Do you care?
Sierra: Care?! Josie had a seizure this morning. I should be with her right now, not here rehashing the past when it has zero relevance.
Betty: Attorney McCoy, it is relevant! Your daughter is playing the game. Along with Kevin and Cheryl, and even your son Reggie, Mr. Mantle. No matter how many black eyes you give him.
Marty: I would never hit my son.
Betty: Another lie.

Alice: Forsyth Pendleton Jones Jr. He was the BMOC. An all-American athlete, a “stud muffin” as we used to say. He was different back then, Betty. Trying to be something different than what he was, but still trouble.
[Flashback returns to present]
Alice: I was as tough as nails, but around FP, silly putty. Even in detention with the secret growing inside me, I hated him … but I wanted him.
[Betty waves for her mom to stop]
Betty: Ugh, okay, okay, Mom. I get it.

Penelope: I’ve heard of this game before. We shouldn’t play it; it doesn’t belong to us anyway.
[FP takes the game from her]
FP: “Gryphons and Gargoyles.” I thought this was an urban legend.
Fred: I heard some kids have been playing it at Seaside.
Hermione: I heard one of them had a heartache and died.
[Betty takes the game from FP]
Alice: In that case, we definitely have to play it. Right?

Betty: Juniper and Dagwood, are they alright?
Alice: Okay, here we go again.
Polly: Juniper and Dagwood are napping. They’re fine. Why wouldn’t they be?
Betty: Ummm, because I saw you and Mom throw the twins into a giant bonefire last night.
Alice: Okay, that’s enough! The only thing burning last night was the hibachi in the backyard. We were making skewers with a few friends.
Betty: From The Farm?
Alice: Yeah, as a matter of fact.
Polly: You must’ve had a hallucination from the seizure.
Betty: It was so real.

Alice: These diaries are your past, and your past is crushing you. Edgar says that...
Betty: What, Mom? What does some guru who’s running a heaven’s gate commune for pregnant runaways and wives of serial killers have to say about my diaries?
Alice: We know that you look down on the Farm, Betty. But, Edgar has done nothing but help me. He’s encouraged me to embrace everything that I was ashamed of and become the best version of myself.

Hal: Penny for your thoughts, Hun?
Betty: I was thinking he was a test.
Hal: Who was?
Betty: The imposter, Chic, everything that he did to us, brought to us, was kinda a test. But, we survived and we’re stronger for it.
Alice: Well, that remains to be seen.
Betty: No, Mom, we are. And we’ll survive whatever comes next.

Betty: Mom...
[Alice is overcome with emotion on stage]
Alice: Don’t leave me, Betty. Don’t leave me like all the others.
[Alice runs off from the stage]
Kevin: Am I directing a train wreck? Now where’s my tea?

Alice: Betty, you’ve been telling me something that I didn’t want to hear. And I’m sorry. But Chic, you’ve put us in danger twice now, so I think that you should do what you said and leave this house.
Chic: I will. I’ll find a place.
Alice: Do it quickly because you’re not going to spend another night here.

Alice: Betty, I have to ask...are you being safe with Jughead?
Betty: Yes, Mom, of course.
Alice: Well, that’s something. It’s...look...when I was your age, I wasn’t always. But you need to be, and I’m very well-acquainted with how alluring the Jones men are.
Betty: Woah, wait, Mom, did you and FP...? I mean, is it possible that FP is Chic’s dad?
Alice: Absolutely not! But Chic...is a part of our family. He’s your brother. IK know that he’s odd and damaged; I see that, I’m not blind. But for the past 25 years, has hasn’t had anyone to love him.
Betty: He’s dangerous.

Alice: I knew it!
Hal: Alice, what the hell are you doing here?
Alice: Accusing you publically! You only wanted a divorce so that you could cheat me out of your big fancy Blossom payday.
Hal: It’s not just my payday, the girls share Blossom blood too.
Alice: My attorney is going to rip you apart! Isn’t that right, attorney McCoy?!
[Alice cuts off Sierra McCoy]
Alice: I will be taking half of whatever blood money you get from this inbred sesspool of a family. Yeah, that’s right, I said inbred.
[The crowd whispers]
Penelope: Would you please just leave?
Alice: Shut your face, you half-melted ten cent Trollope.
Toni: This is riveting.
Cheryl: I can’t breathe.

FP: It’s done.
Jughead: Jeez, Dad, you reek.
FP: It’s sodium-hydroxide. In a week there will be nothing left...nothing but his teeth.
[He grabs Alice’s hand]
Alice: Thank you, FP. I’m sorry for involving Betty, and that she pulled Jughead into this.
FP: We take care of our own. The circle ends here. No more loose ends.

Mädchen Amick Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Hermoine Lodge. Park Ave Princess to cater waiter.
Mrs. Lodge: Alice Cooper. No longer lactose intolerant, I see.
Mrs. Cooper: How's Veronica? Oh, you don't even know, do you? The things they're saying about your daughter at school?
Mrs. Lodge: What things?
Mrs. Cooper: Slut-shaming. It's what they call it when sluts get shamed.

Betty: You should be writing about the real story. What happened to Jason? Who was holding him captive? Why was he frozen? And who shot that gun on July 4?
Mrs. Cooper: Yes, well if you're so keen on reporting, then why don't you come work with your father and me? The Register could really use a Lois Lane type like you.