Cole Sprouse TV Quotes Quotes
Jughead: That’s strike three, nowhere is going to be delivering through this ice storm. How about I just raid the vending machine?
Betty: Yes, I can finally live out my Charlie Brown fantasy of having junk food for Thanksgiving dinner. Yes! [Smacks bed!] Okay, I will have Stonewall’s finest chocolate chip cookies, chips, soda, and candies, please.
[Jughead slides off the bed]
Betty: Get yourself something too!
Mr. Dupont: Mr. Chipping and I have conferred and decided on the theme for the Baxter Brothers writing competition. Who’s interested?
[Everyone’s hands raise except Jughead]
Mr. Chipping: Jughead?
Jughead: Oh no, I’m in … and I’m winning. And please, Mr. Chipping, from here on out, you can call me Forsythe the 3rd. It’s after my grandfather.
Mr. Dupont: Wonderful, then you and your classmates will be challenged to devise the perfect murder. That’s your theme. Let the bloodbath begin.
Donna: Enjoying yourself, Jones?
Jughead: So, this is what one percenters do for fun? Play Murder. Oh, by the way…
Donna: Wicked, Jones.
Jughead: I should…
Donna: Yea, go on then. Let me die in peace.
[Donna faints dramatically]
Donna: But, a word of advice, Newbie. I’d watch your back around Brett.
Jughead: Why? What is his deal?
Donna: He’s a diplo-brat. “Son a diplomat.” Thinks it gives him immunity to do whatever he wants.
Jughead: Like beat me up?
Donna: That’s not how Brett fights. Okay, it’s psychological with him, and he’s not afraid to play dirty.
Jughead: Okay, I’ll take your advice.
Betty: I’m just happy this nightmare is finally over.
[Doorbell rings and a mysterious VHS is found outside]
Jughead: Famous last words.
Cheryl: Well, well, well. Stop the presses! The Riverdale rag finally reported a story accurately. Not only is there going to some hideous janky parade snaking its way through town, you four are the architects of this outrage.
Veronica: What’s your problem, Cheryl?
Cheryl: My problem, Veronica, is that the Fourth of July is a day of tragedy for Riverdale. Not celebration. Or have you forgotten what happened to my poor brother Jason?
Betty: Cheryl, Riverdale hasn’t held a parade out of respect for what happened to your brother in like years. It’s time.
Jughead: I mean, you don’t have to come.
Cheryl: Oh, I’ll be there, Insufferable Smurf. Front and center. With a sign of protest in one hand and a horn of compressed air to silence any revelry in the other.
Jughead: And if anyone is scared of bears, well don’t be because Archie’s been attacked by, like what, multiple times and still survived? [Laughs]
Archie: Hey. I wear my scars proudly.