Cole Sprouse Quotes
Jughead: Ben? You’re Ben Button?
Ben: Of course, I am. Who else would I be?
Jughead: Ben, you died! You jumped out of a window when you sacrificed yourself to the Gargoyle King.
Ben: No, you’re thinking of that dude from Stonewall Prep.
Jughead: Mr. Chipping, yeah. No, no! You did it first.
Ben: Maybe you hallucinated it?
Veronica: Alright, let’s do it. Let’s makeout and save the universe. One thing: can we make it during the wedding? I’m not really in the mood.
Jughead: Yeah, I hear that. Same.
[Veronica drinks a glass]
Veronica: Here’s to “Vughead” becoming canon.
Jughead: Wedding? Who’s getting married?
Cheryl: Awkward!
Archie: Jug, Betty and I are getting married this weekend. You’re my best man.
Archie: I’m not a villain, Jug. No one stays dead here. Cheryl and Ronnie will be back. All the people we’ve lost. Everyone comes back to life in this universe.
Jughead: Everyone comes back. Is this about your dad?
Archie: Don’t you get it? He’s coming home. He has to. He would never miss my wedding, especially not to Betty. He loved Betty.
Bitsy: I might have given you the wrong idea about us, Poppy. I’ve never been happier in my marriage and I would be very lucky to have another child with Jack. So, just butt out, okay.
Jack: You hear that? Keep out of my marriage, woman, and so help me, if you get anywhere near Bitsy again, I will kill you.
[Bitsy mouths she’s sorry]
Jughead: My soul? Take it. Take it.
[Jughead signs the deal]
Jughead: I’m nothing if I’m not a writer.
Jughead: You’re saying there’s a secret illegitimate clan of Blossoms that have lived in the woods for two generations? Why did you call the corpse a Mothman?!
Nana Blossom: The family kept to themselves, didn’t like eyes prying into their business. So, they created a fiction. The Mothman. One which we Blossoms swore to embrace.
Betty: Even when I was at Yale, I was trying to be a normal Freshman. Go on dates, make friends, do extracurriculars, but I don’t know. It all felt so … empty.
Jughead: Classic Cooper. You solved like eight mysteries in high school and you were still Valedictorian.
A lot can happen in seven years. But in Riverdale, the more things change, the more they stay exactly the same.
Jughead
Jughead: Oh geez, I know where this is going…
Archie: The best counterattack is not to fight fire with fire, but to fight fire with a fire department!
Jughead: I saw you're looking for a new waiter. I’m definitely interested.
Tabitha: Thanks, but this definitely isn’t the right job for you.
Jughead: You don’t even know me.
Tabitha: Also, you can’t just sit here all day using my internet. You have to actually order food, not just coffee, and then you have to pay for said food. My grandfather did things his way and I do them mine. And the first rule of MY diner is no running tabs.
Archie: Later, bro.
[Archie offers his hand]
Jughead: Don’t “bro” me.
[The pair hug]
