Cole Sprouse Quotes
Jughead: And if anyone is scared of bears, well don’t be because Archie’s been attacked by, like what, multiple times and still survived? [Laughs]
Archie: Hey. I wear my scars proudly.
Cheryl: Well, well, well. Stop the presses! The Riverdale rag finally reported a story accurately. Not only is there going to some hideous janky parade snaking its way through town, you four are the architects of this outrage.
Veronica: What’s your problem, Cheryl?
Cheryl: My problem, Veronica, is that the Fourth of July is a day of tragedy for Riverdale. Not celebration. Or have you forgotten what happened to my poor brother Jason?
Betty: Cheryl, Riverdale hasn’t held a parade out of respect for what happened to your brother in like years. It’s time.
Jughead: I mean, you don’t have to come.
Cheryl: Oh, I’ll be there, Insufferable Smurf. Front and center. With a sign of protest in one hand and a horn of compressed air to silence any revelry in the other.
Jughead: We won. Didn’t we? We survived the night. We proved that we’re better than this town.
Penelope: That may or may not be true, but kill them. Kill them all!
[The Gargoyles chase after the group as they run away]
Penelope: Hellcaster, care to take a stab?
Jughead: Sure. Arthur Conan Doyle famously said, “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” In which case, whoever is underneath that mask must have had a connection to Hal, and to you Penelope. But it’s not Jason because he’s dead, even though his corpse is missing. The one corpse that hasn’t been accounted for and who was last seen by The Black Hood ... Chic.
[The Gargoyle King removes the mask to reveal Chic]
Jughead: There’s a lot of mythical stuff in this Gospel, Betty. The gargoyles were thought to be evil spirits that lived in the clouds, preying on people. So, The Gryphon Queen turned them into stone, they fell from the kingdom and shattered when they hit the earth.
Betty: Jug, all this lore builds up The Gargoyle King to be some kind of supernatural creature, but this guy is just a serial killer. Just like my dad. The Black Hood was flesh and blood, and so is The Gargoyle King.
[Betty gets up from her seat]
Betty: Which means ... that he can die.
[Betty removes Hal’s photo from the evidence wall]
Betty: It was a setup, Jug. The Gospel that we found, the proclamation ... it was all to get me alone with my dad again.
Jughead: I can’t believe none of us saw it coming: the return of The Black Hood. Now we have two serial killers running around.
Betty: Possibly working together.
FP: And both of them outsmarting us.
Gladys: I’m the new Fizzle Rocks dealer in Riverdale, and Kurtz used to work for me before he lost his damn mind.
FP: What? [He turns to Jughead] And you knew about this, Boy?!
Gladys: Don’t blame him. I told him not to say anything because I wanted to keep you out of it. I did it to protect you, to protect the family.
FP: How’s that working for Jellybean?! Huh?! You are the reason that this psycho kidnapped our daughter! You brought this into our lives!
FP: I’ve heard enough! I’ve heard enough! We need to finish this damn game and bring Jellybean back home safe and sound. But there will be a reckoning.
Jughead: What are you doing here?
Gladys: It did me good seeing you and your dad in Toledo. It reminded me of what I’d been missing: the entire family together. As for what I’m gonna do here, I’m gonna get Jellybean into school, find myself a job. Maybe at a garage? How does that all sound to you?
Jughead: Sounds good. Is it true?
Gladys: Oh, Jughead. Look, your dad has got me squeaking now; we’ve got a house with rooms for everyone. I’m looking at this whole thing like a do-over; a chance to be a real family. That’s all I want.
Jughead: No rest for the wicked.
Betty: Not in a wicked town.
Veronica: I’ve got a job for you, Jones. I want you to find out who shot my father.
[Veronica drops a wad of cash. Jughead looks through it]
Veronica: You’ll get the other half when you give me their name.
Jughead: This is a big job. Look, half the people in this town want to see your old man kick the maple bucket. No offense.
Veronica: None taken. I’ll give you your first suspect: my mother.
FP: “Sheriff Jones” now, boy. Listen up! You’re looking at the new law in Riverdale.
[The Southside Serpents cheer]
FP: We all thought you were dead, Tall Boy. Where were you hiding?
Tall Boy: A small town called, “Athens.” I gotta say, it’s good to be back. And Alice Cooper, she was looking extra sweet the night me and my boys broke into her house to scare the c*** out of her and her b**** daughter. That was fun.
[Jughead punches him]
Jughead: Alright, let’s cut to the chase. We know you’re working for Hiram. You’ve been dressing up in that little costume, have his mask on. Now you [Jughead pushes his finger to Tall Boy’s head] are gonna help us take him down.
Tall Boy: You know what else was fun? Carving that simpleton Joaquin’s forehead after I killed him.