Sam: Why would you let me do that show?
Gretchen: Because you wanted to! You said, and I quote, "Get your negligent ass down to Fire 103, we doin' a show."
Sam: My blood sugar was low, you're supposed to give me some goddamn almonds!

Hey, that's your best garbage bag. You going somewhere?

Edgar

You've got a career. A nice house. Got your own Paki. Don't do what I did and let some black cloud of a bird screw it up.

Ronny

All right, English people, cover your skin. We're going outside.

Gretchen

I have to look extra dope. Those assholes' latest track dissed my wardrobe so thoroughly they had me doubting my signature style that GQ once called "courageously headache-y."

Sam

Jimmy: You must be in university by now?
Lily: Oh, I was going to go. But they pointed out that university is just a place that wankers go to study poetry and fist themselves.

Jimmy: Gretch, you gotta help me, promise you'll help me. Please.
Gretchen: Can't.
Jimmy: Jesus, I thought you said you were better?
Gretchen: I lied.
Jimmy: Well, fake it and help me!
Gretchen: I don't wanna.
Jimmy [shrieking]: Do you think I wanna? Nobody wanna! But I need your help, c'mon!

Wow! It's so big and gray.

Lily

I thought all English people were fancy, but these are like Alabama English people.

Lindsay

It seemed like a right proper story. Just not for me.

Jimmy's dad

I miss our Largo days, Sandwiches. Don't you? Our Largo days.

Gretchen

Conventional and scary, hell yeah. But the death of fun? Not necessarily. To be a slave to an idea of coolness is why some of your friends never grow and in the end are actually less themselves. And counterintuitively lead less authentic lives than the buyers-in.

Lexi

You're the Worst Quotes

Gretchen: Who knows their address?
Jimmy: People. Kidnapped children. This dog I saw on Dateline who rides the bus to the park.

Jimmy: Well you guys have very funny things in your vocabulary as well.
Gretchen: Oh yeah, like what?
Jimmy: "American exceptionalism."
Gretchen: Oh, former colony burn.