Weeds Quotes
Nancy Botwin: Obviously menopause has effected your sense of smell.
Lupita: I don't smell with my coochie.
Andy, this is my business, it's nothing to do with you. Go downstairs and do what you do best, patrol the couch in your underwear.
Nancy Botwin
How do you ask the woman that makes your kids' lunches to suck your balls and spread her ass open like a geometry compass? How, Andy?
oug Wilson
Conrad Shepard: You calling black people stupid?
Nancy Botwin: And lazy... and they also steal.
Heylia James: Yeah, but we sings and we dances real good.
Nancy: (sees Shane get knocked down on soccer field) Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?!
Celia: Well, technically, Nancy, the Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.
Shane Botwin: Can we go home now, please?
Nancy: It's not even halftime.
Shane: I don't feel well. I think I have rickets.
Shane: Do you think I'm weird?
Judah: Totally weird, but you're awesome. Αnd I wouldn't trade you in for any other almost-10-year-old on earth.
Shane: What if there's life on other planets and there's an unbelievable, amazing 10-year old out there?
Judah: Why would I trade now? To me, you're the best dude, you are the amazing unbelievable Shane Botwin.
Silas: I love her.
Celia: You stuck your penis in her. That's not love, believe me.
Tennis Pro: We need to go somewhere where we can get very, very drunk.
Celia: I'm a mean drunk. Let's go.
Oh, it's a weed wonderland, Nancy. Like Amsterdam, only better, because you don't have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and stuff.
Doug
Celia: You really should lock your front door.
Nancy: I do lock it. But Lupita leaves it open so she doesn't have to dig for her keys. Drives me insane.
Celia: Subtle revenge for having to clean our toilets.
Nancy: I still say we got the better end of that deal.
Celia: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Nancy: Excuse me?
Celia: I think I'd like to try it.
