I fought an 8-year-old! And the only reason I won is because he fell on a spike!

Billy Quizboy

Billy the Quiz Boy, and whoever you are, must come with me!


You don't want my life. What do I have to show for it? Metal plate in my chest, Vatican karate gorilla blood on my hands, and a foot locker full of manbro viles.


Brock: Back to the high-n-tight huh?
Hank: Yeah, I feel like the Jewish guy who lost all his powers when they cut all his hair off.
Brock: Samson?
Hank: Lenny Kravitz.

I thought I had to poop. It was just you in there.

Prof. Impossible

Hank: I want to join up with you guys.
Col. Hunter Gathers: Well, my boot wants to join up with your ass, and I'm about to give them a shotgun wedding. Now beat it!

Col. Hunter Gathers: He came highly recommended. Suppose to be an expert.
Brock: An expert at what? Poopy??

Hank: I am not going to College!
Dr. Venture: Darn tootin' your not. Now get back in that bed until you graduate.

You're lucky you were not on duty when he had a conjugal visit with a freaking shoe.


Dean: I think we just graduated
Hank: We did? Does that mean we can finally ditch these nerd pods and get bunk beds?

Brock: What color is my tongue?
Hank: Wednesday. Maybe a light Wednesday.

So that's what happened to the sevens.


Venture Bros. Quotes

Hank: You are not the boss of me
Sgt Hatred: Au contraire, I am tony danza to your spunky Alyssa Milano. I am full on Charles In Charge of you

Hank: Is it just me or does every Nazi want to clone Hitler? It's like the only they think about
Srgt. Hatred: It seems that way, right. I guess when everyone hates you, you just fixate on making rotten Hitlers