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Why don't you just go get us some drinks okay? Noting muddled, nothing infused, just two white wines... and whatever it is that you want!


Chris: Everybody knows that a short iron is better for beatings.
Reagan: Do they?
Chris: Hillary, I want you to dial nine and then one. If stuff gets real, then double down on that one.

Wow that's a cute jean vest you got going on there. Did you distress that yourself?


Oh my god, has alcohol gotten strongler or what? Did I just say 'strongler?'


Chris: What kind of soup is this?
Reagan: Cream of breast milk.

Your narcissism comes from a good place.


You were not the model, you were the cautionary tale.


Boys love weaponry!


Jackson: Do you like wine?
Ava: Not as much as I adore it.

We haven't slept in three nights. We're living like kidnapped journalists.


Somebody spends ten minutes on WebMD and suddenly they're a pediatrician.


Not to brag, but Craigslist is sort of my jam.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 198 in total

Up All Night Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.


Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?

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