Are you second hand smoking? It's a totally slippery slope dude. You go from piggybacking a guys smoke. Next thing you know you're giving your daughter's wedding toast through a hole in your neck. What a joyous occasion.


Scott: Wine em, dine em and redesign em.
Ava: I like mine no ice and no margarita mix. Then it's just tequila.

I'd love you to never say full coitus again.


Chris: Scott threw his back out but don't worry he took a handful of Gene's dad's expired muscle relaxers. Isn't that right Scott?
Scott: I took six Chris! I took six!
Chris: Yeah then he just tried to order a pizza with Gene's sleep apnea machine.

The feet up by the pool pic is like the loneliest pic in the world.


Reagan: How was yoga?
Ava: Yoga, has opened my eyes to the world, to myself, to yoga pants.

Never a good idea to start the day with a Denver omelette and a Schlitz.


We'll just head back to the hotel and pray over some Pinot Grige and a bowl full of mussels.


We just stole a turkey from the lead singer of Motörhead.

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