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Chris: Scott threw his back out but don't worry he took a handful of Gene's dad's expired muscle relaxers. Isn't that right Scott?
Scott: I took six Chris! I took six!
Chris: Yeah then he just tried to order a pizza with Gene's sleep apnea machine.

The feet up by the pool pic is like the loneliest pic in the world.


Reagan: How was yoga?
Ava: Yoga, has opened my eyes to the world, to myself, to yoga pants.

Never a good idea to start the day with a Denver omelette and a Schlitz.


We'll just head back to the hotel and pray over some Pinot Grige and a bowl full of mussels.


We just stole a turkey from the lead singer of Motörhead.


I haven't eaten anything in the last twelve hours except two Jack n' Cokes and a pocket full of Craisins.


Chris: No joke I fell asleep while packing.
Reagan: Did you also fall asleep while putting on your clothes Honey because you're wearing a deep V and my pregnancy pants.
Chris: I thought I was wearing capris.

Reagan of course I think you're pretty and sexy. Did you have a lower face replacement?


Hooray for second chances!


Walter: Ma'am from Webster was one handsome lady. I wonder what she's up to.
Reagan: Search engine!

He just snubbed me for Final Cut Pro.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 198 in total

Up All Night Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.


Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?