Maybe I am gay

Sarah [after kissing Hector]

Hector: So, you want to stop and get a drink before the party?
Sarah: I already did

Mason: Remember that ridiculously hot concierge in the lobby?
Conner: The one with no visible knee caps?
Mason: I have no idea what that means

Tom: We can't do this. Choosing which one of us will take you tonight has really been hard on our friendship.
Hector: It's like Sophie's choice, only the kids have to decide

Conner: I'm trying to remember, in this particular relationship, if I was a dick or not.
Mason: I hate those odds. Call her anyway.
Conner: If I was a dick then I have to apologize. If wasn't a dick and I apologize, it will just confuse her. Classic dilemma. Clip the blue wire, clip the red wire.

Sarah: Hey, I heard you got Spike Jonze.
Mason: Heard you're a lesbian.

I'm just saying, if you're concerned about the gay rumor, might want to cut down on your dates with lesbians

Tom [to Sarah]

Conner: Don't say it. Don't say that word.
Mason: I know. I know. Cool people don't say "cool." I just hate the fact that some client who is definitely not cool thinks I'm not cool.

Mason: Conner, you gotta let me pilot the plane.
Conner: I was trying to co-pilot the plane to keep it from crashing

Mason: How do you decide what shoes to buy?
Haley: I don't know. I just do it.
Mason: You 'just do it." Now, where have i heard that before?

Ok, am I the only woman in American who doesn't share this bizarre fantasy of having a man wash my hair


Oh big surprise, I mean the day after an awards show Denise becomes obsessed about winning awards. It's like sun spot activity, Mason. Denise flares up, it interferes with TV reception, but it'll pass.


Trust Me Quotes

Conner: You need to get this boat.
Mason: I can't afford it.
Conner: Be a good American and finance it.

You've been carrying me? I've been carrying you so long I have scoliosis

Mason [to Conner]