Bastard links his life to my mom's and then engages in a duel. What is this, Hamlet community theatre?

Damon

Bonnie: Do you wanna talk about i--
Alaric: Nope.
Bonnie: Okay. Didn't think so.

Little tip from a professional. Next time you want to kill a bazillion year old psycho, don't choose a sword from the junior's section.

Damon [to Enzo]

Matt: Car, I've literally never seen you puke before.
Caroline: That is because I'm polite, not pregnant.

Julian: I assured Lily that there would be no more bloodshed in the house.
Enzo: Did you make any promises about outside?

Enzo: Well, if Julian wants it, so do I.
Bonnie: Are we talking about Oscar's car or Lily?

Damon: Wow. Did I ever mention I like your style?
Stefan: I had a feeling we were going to have to do this the hard way.
Damon: Best...Thanksgiving...ever.

No talking until I'm seeing two of you. Then I'll kick both of your asses.

Damon [to Stefan]

Alaric: It's been so nice to hear her voice again. Thank you for allowing me to say goodbye.
Jo: Goodbye, Ric.

It's called dignity. Have some. It's free.

Bonnie [to Enzo]

Lily: Bonnie, I know we've had a rocky past, but I hope this means you're willing to start fresh.
Bonnie: You're the reason I'm never going to see my best friend again, so I hope you're joking.

Huh. Looks like mom raised her man crush from the dead...

Damon

Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.