[to Tyler] If Matt dies, are you going to start peeing on fire hydrants again?

Caroline

Damon: Eh, a hundred and fifty years is a long time to care.
Elena: Says the guy who pined for Katherine Pierce for a century and a half.

Lily: I took your advice and I've been dabbling on Stefan's computer. What a wondrous invention -- all that knowledge.
Damon: And videos of cats riding robot vacuum cleaners.

[to Elena] You're lucky you're adorable because your eternal optimism is super annoying.

Damon

Jo: I'm marrying an idiot. You could have died today.
Alaric: As opposed to any other day?

It must be so exhausting overthinking everything, denying your own urge to kill and just be done with them.

Stefan

Elena: [to Lily] You've been in here for over a century.
Damon: Yeah, I would've come by sooner but I thought you were safe and sound in the family crypt. My bad.

Lily: Damon?
Damon: Hello, mother.

Jo: I've thought about it and anyone named Alaric should not be allowed to name another human.
Alaric: I didn't name me!

[to Caroline] You are an embarrassment to humanity-free vampires everywhere.

Stefan

Stefan: Neat, organized Caroline staying within the lines. Good at control, terrible at revenge.
Caroline: I dismantled your bike.
Stefan: I tore your director's head off with my teeth.

Elena: Is this presentable attire by 1903 standards?
Damon: Whoa, who said you were coming?
Elena: To meet the woman who gave birth to the two epic loves of my life? Me.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Break out the popcorn, Blondie. Elena’s little sex romp isn’t over yet.

Enzo

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon