Diego: The Handler stole you, Lila. Just like our asshole father took all of us.
Lila: No. It’s not the same thing.
Diego: You’re right. Because he didn’t have our parents murdered.

The Handler gave me the kill order. She came on the job, which she’d never done before. You’re Commission. You know execs never go on jobs, but that day in London, she was there. Ask yourself why.


Vanya: Maybe we need to consider that there’s more of us out there.
Allison: Are we surprised? Dad never told us the whole truth about anything.
Diego: But she’s not our biological sister… right?

Magnificent. And you don’t talk back. I like that.


Sissy: Who the hell are you?
Handler: I’m his new mama.

Allison: I heard a rumor--
Lila: You stopped breathing.

Luther: I think I swallowed my tongue.
Five: Luther, if you swallowed your tongue, you wouldn’t be talking, you big moron.

Five: What do you want?
Lila: To watch you suffer.
Diego: What about me?
Lila: You’re not even worth my wrath.

Vanya: Look, I didn’t know who I was. But I do now. And we are not the monsters that they say we are. We did not kill the president. We are not terrorists. We’re not here to hurt anyone.
Sissy: Then who are you?
Vanya: The only one that can help Harlan.

He wanted me to tell you that he was too scared to go to the light. It wasn’t you that made him stay.


Klaus: Ben, huh? Gone Forever. Isn’t he?
Vanya: He traded his life for mine… while he saved the world in the process.

Five: You were on the Infinite Switchboard?
Diego: Hell, yeah. I made that machine my bitch. Y’all need to recognize I got shit going on y’all don’t even know about.

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

Elliott: It's all true, yeah? UFOs... crop circles?!
Five: Well, the truth is out there.

They're gone like a fart in the wind.