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The-simpsons

Old Jewish Man: Old gray mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be.
Announcer: And now, the old man dancers!
Old Men: Old gray mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be.

Krusty: Ugh, 35 years in show business and already no one remembers me, just like what's-his-name and whose-it, and you know that guy, always wore a shirt?
Bart: Ed Sullivan?

Krusty: I've had plenty of guys come after me and I've buried them all. Hobos, sea captains, Joey Bishop
Krusty's Assistant: Don't forget the Special Olympics.
Krusty: Oh, yeah. I buried the Special Olympics!

Krusty: Here's the deal. Every time you watch my show, I will send you... forty dollars!
Voice: Checks will not be honored.

Bart: Moe, look over there! (as a distraction)
Moe: What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothing. I'm gonna stop looking soon What? What, is that it?
Homer walks into Moe's Tavern
Homer: Hey Moe, can I look, too?
Moe: Sure, but it'll cost ya.
Homer: My wallet's in the car.
Homer runs out
Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.

Reverend Lovejoy: Everyone is saying "Gabbo this" and "Gabbo that". But no one is saying "Worship this" and "Jericho that".
Jasper: What's this about Gabbo?

Bette Midler: Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I would like to be.
Krusty: You can fly higher than an eagle.
Bette/Krusty: Cause you/I are/am the wind beneath my/your wings.

Rainier: My son returns from a fancy east coast college and I'm horrified to find he's a nerd.
Kent: Haha, I'm laughing already.
Rainier: It's not a comedy.

Krusty: Bette and I owned a race horse together: Krudler.

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Bart: Somebody ought to ruin Gabbo's career the way he ruined Krusty's.
Lisa: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Bart: Yes, they do.
Lisa: No, they don't.
Bart: Yes, they do.
Lisa: No, they don't.
Bart: Yes, they do.
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: Two wrongs make a right, Lisa.

Here's your taco mister. Oops, I dropped it in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow. Oooow! Ooow! Oow!

Squeeky-Voiced Teen

Bette Midler: Great show Krusty! You deserve an Emmy for this!
Krusty: Forget it. The academy hates me...I don't know why...they wouldn't know comedy if it bit them on their (notices the camera) Hey! Hey!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 396 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer
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