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The-simpsons

Don't snap my undies.

Chief Wiggum

Bart: Moe, look over there! (as a distraction)
Moe: What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothing. I'm gonna stop looking soon What? What, is that it?
Homer walks into Moe's Tavern
Homer: Hey Moe, can I look, too?
Moe: Sure, but it'll cost ya.
Homer: My wallet's in the car.
Homer runs out
Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.

Gabbo: (singing) You're gonna like me,
You're gonna love me,
'Cause I can do most anything.
I can do the hully gully,
(does a crazy dance)
I can imitate Vin Scully!
(now speaking, imitating Vin Scully and holding a microphone) Let's take time out from that triple play for this message from Farmer Dan's Pure Pork Sausages! Mmm, mmm
(singing, back to normal) I'll give out shiny dimes, (tosses coins to the audience)
I'll travel back in time! (disappears and reappears with a confused pilgrim)
(Now a bunch of dolls dance onto stage, including soldiers, Cossacks, clowns, and more.)
Toy Soldiers: You're gonna like him!
Toy Cossacks: You're going to love him!
Everyone: It's the greatest show in to-ow-ow-ow-own! Gabbo!
(a set of jets fly overhead leaving a rainbow trail of smoke)

I'll admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies, but as Gabbo would say, I'm a bad wittle boy.

Mayor Quimby

Old Jewish Man: Old gray mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be.
Announcer: And now, the old man dancers!
Old Men: Old gray mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be.

Krusty: Ugh, 35 years in show business and already no one remembers me, just like what's-his-name and whose-it, and you know that guy, always wore a shirt?
Bart: Ed Sullivan?

Krusty: I've had plenty of guys come after me and I've buried them all. Hobos, sea captains, Joey Bishop
Krusty's Assistant: Don't forget the Special Olympics.
Krusty: Oh, yeah. I buried the Special Olympics!

Krusty: Here's the deal. Every time you watch my show, I will send you... forty dollars!
Voice: Checks will not be honored.

Krusty: Now boys, the network has a problem with some of your lyrics. Do you mind changing them for the show?
Anthony: Forget you, clown.
Chad: Yeah, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.
Krusty: Well okay, but here where it says, "What I got you gotta get and put it in ya," how about just, "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss ya."
Flea: Wow. That's much better.
Arik: Everyone can enjoy that.

Bette Midler: Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I would like to be.
Krusty: You can fly higher than an eagle.
Bette/Krusty: Cause you/I are/am the wind beneath my/your wings.

Krusty: Bette and I owned a race horse together: Krudler.

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Bart: Somebody ought to ruin Gabbo's career the way he ruined Krusty's.
Lisa: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Bart: Yes, they do.
Lisa: No, they don't.
Bart: Yes, they do.
Lisa: No, they don't.
Bart: Yes, they do.
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: Two wrongs make a right, Lisa.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 396 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer
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