The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons

This is K-U-D-D 570 AM. Hey, don't touch that dial, you've got KUDD on it.

DJ

Homer: Ooh, there's a good one!
Marge: That spot says compact only!
Homer: Marge, that's just the suggestion car size...easy...easy... how am I doing on the right?
Lisa: Um, we're getting a lot of sparks over here, dad!
Homer: Uh huh, easy...easy...mmm perfect, alright everybody out the window!

Marge: Well, what are we going to see?
Bart: Ernest Cuts The Cheese!
Lisa: Honey I Hit A School Bus!
Homer: Look Who's Oinking, Look Who's Oinking!
Marge: Since we'll never agree, why don't you kids pick a movie, your dad and I will pick a movie, then we'll all meet in the lobby later?
Bart/Lisa: Thanks mom!
Homer: Two tickets for...
Guy: Lemme guess... Look Who's Oinking?
Homer: That's right!
Guy: Sold out!

Lurleen's Song: That's why you flipped your pickup truck, right off the interstate!
Homer: That's right (fast) except for the pickup truck.

Guy: Lets give a big country welcome to Yodeling Zeek!
Audience: *applause*
Zeek: Yodel-e-hee, yodel-e-i-hee, odel-e-hee.

Redneck 1: Hey you, let's fight.
Redneck 2: Them's fightin' words!

Hillbilly 1: I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.
Hillbilly 2: You bitter?
Hillbilly 1: Yeah, bit HIM too!

Homer: I'm going now, and I don't know when you'll see me again
(he drives off, then comes back to drop Maggie off)
Lisa: I guess that executive stress ball we got him for Christmas isn't working.

Studio Owner: Ah, this studio has a lot of history, uh.. Buddy Holly stood on this spot in 1958 and said 'There is no way in hell that I'm going to record in this dump'
Homer: I'm sure Lurleen will love it!
Marge: Homer, how much did you just give that man!
Homer: Calm down Marge, it's just our life savings!

Homer: Oh no, I went to this bar the other night and the.
Moe: Hey, wawait a minute. You went to another bar?
Homer: Moe, I was 100 miles out of town!
Moe: Oh Homer...

(on a mechanical bull) Ach! How come no one else's chair is doin' this?!

Willy

Lurleen: My name's Lurleen Lumpkin.
Homer: That's a pretty name.
Lurleen: Oh, you think so?
Homer: Maybe. I'm not sure. I forgot it.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 489 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

Smithers: What's wrong sir, did I get some in your eye? The Shampoo specifically said, "No more tears!"
Mr. Burns: Ah, lovely promise but, one beyond the powers of a mere shampoo.

Apu: Did you notice that there is a kid on your bus?
Otto: Glad you told me. I was about to go to Mexico.

× Close Ad