Homer: Give me full power.
Salesman: But, sir?
Homer: Damn it! I said full power!

Herb: Maggie...who brought me my fortune. I'll give you anything you want in the world
Maggie: -(machine)- I want what the dog's eating
Herb: I'll get you something nice.

(On his back, holding Maggie up) The pitch is insufficient for "burp me", and this jigsaw motion is something I've never(Maggie throws up on him) Eureka.

Herb

Blablueeeh. (with the machine Herb invented) I have soiled myselfhow embarrassing.

Maggie

Alright, a peanut!

</i> Barney

I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse massage parlors and those Disney sleaze balls shut me down. I said "Look, I'll change the logo, put Mickey's pants back on." Some guys you just can't reason with.

Hobo

Homer: Herb, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew 2,000 bucks on it when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
Herb: Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?!
Homer: I tried, but I can't.

Milhouse: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? ... All signs point to yes
Nelson: That ball knows everything. *punch*

Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger?
Homer: I'd say you're a lying scumbag, why sweety?
Lisa: Arcording to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is subtly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.
Homer: Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter.

Samantha: How do we know when we fall in love?
Kraboppel: Oh, don't you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.

Will I pass my English test? .... Outlook not so good. Wow, it does work.

Bart

Skinner: Now It's never easy to come to a new school so let's make her feel right at home. Please say a big Elementary school hello to Samantha Stinky!
Samantha: Stanky.
Skinner: Oh, right....how embarrassing for you.

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

"Woodrow"

Otto: Can I at least get my stuff?
Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old Psycho magazines.
Otto: Wow! I have mustard?