Why did this have to happen now during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?

Homer

Lisa: Why didn't you write Unckie Herb?
Herb: Hey, if I wrote to you what was I suppose to say? "Dear Lisa, last night I used a rat for a pillow thanks to your pop?"

Except for huge gaps in the western states, "Hands Across America" was a complete success.

TV Announcer

Herb: Lady, you just gave me the idea of a lifetime! How do I thank you?
Woman: Please don't hurt me.
Herb: Consider it done.

I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse massage parlors and those Disney sleaze balls shut me down. I said "Look, I'll change the logo, put Mickey's pants back on." Some guys you just can't reason with.

Hobo

Blablueeeh. (with the machine Herb invented) I have soiled myselfhow embarrassing.

Maggie

(On his back, holding Maggie up) The pitch is insufficient for "burp me", and this jigsaw motion is something I've never(Maggie throws up on him) Eureka.

Herb

Milhouse: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? ... All signs point to yes
Nelson: That ball knows everything. *punch*

How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy!

Milhouse

Milhouse: Uh, that's a nice dress.
Samantha: My dad makes me wear it, I hate it!
Milhouse: Well I hate it too!

Samantha: How do we know when we fall in love?
Kraboppel: Oh, don't you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.

Millhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when they're out of chocolate milk, you cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

"Woodrow"

Patty: When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?
Otto: Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean I don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me; I'm open-minded.
Patty: (Dropping the green pen) We won't be needing this.