The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 21 Quotes
Bart: How'd a pull up like you get a great card like that?
Ralph: My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo.
Bart: Ralph, I will play you for that card.
Ralph: Okay, but if I win, you'll have to teach me how to play this game
That's drug talk. But I could be mistaken. Just let me listen to a little more out of context.
Marge
Chief Wiggum: Hey, what you packing, Simpson?
Homer: Just my lunch. Chicken parm, meatball parn, eggplant parm, shishka parm, angel hair parm, moo goo gai parm. My wife can parm anything.
Chief Wiggum: My wife only parms on my birthday and that's only if I give her the sad puppy dog look.
Homer: Community service? But that's work! What about jail?
Judge: Community service!
Homer: No, I want to go to jail. Free food, tear drop tattoos, library books that come to you. I'll serve anything but the community!
Bart: I don't even remember if Dylan is a boy or girl.
Marge: Of course, you do. Dylan is a ... let me check the invitation, fish theme, that tells me nothing!
And that's where we came in. Now, without further ado, here's what happened next. But first, I'll daydream about a sport utility vehicle, a crispy chicken sandwich, and a wonderful blue pill!
Mr. Burns
Guard: It's time for a cavity search.
Mr. Burns: Oh, I haven't cavity in forty years.
Guard: I wasn't talking about your teeth.
Mr. Burns: Nor was I.
Marge: Play with Lisa.
Bart: You don't play with Lisa, you play despite her.
Lisa: Bart, I'm not thrilled either, but one day we might need each other for a transplant so we better keep the lines of communication going.
Moe: Get your throwing stuff! Turn the protest into a riot!
Milhouse: How much for a tomato?
Moe: Fresh stuff for a dollar. Rotten is two bucks.
Kirk: Son, do you really need the rotten? I mean, it's not like you're actually gonna hit him.
Is it a crime to want nice things and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.
Mr. Burns
Carl: Sir, your spare ribs, cooked just the way you like them.
Mr. Burns: Spare ribs eh? I've played around with ten pins a time or two in my life and, to me, the term spare reeks of second best. Give me ten full frames of strike ribs. [to Lenny]: And you, find my doctor and find out why I'd ask for something as insane as strike ribs.
Mr. Burns: The power plant's new annual Fourth of July picnic is this upcoming Saturday.
Homer: Woohoo!
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid you misunderstand. This picnic is for me, you will all be spending your Independence Day slaving away in the hot summer sun with no pay, lotion, or gratitude.
