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The-simpsons

They charge you for parts AND labor? Pick one, buddy. I can do this just fine myself.

Homer

Even the Koreans wouldn't touch this dog.

Moe

That was awesome. I feel like the Tiger Woods of sex.

Homer

Simon: How do you like LA?
Moe: It's a hell of a city. It's like someone stepped on New York and scraped it off on the beach.

You can't close! I'll have to go home and drink better beer at half the price... and natural lighting!

Homer

I don't need your fair-weather friendship... is what I'll be saying tomorrow morning.

Moe

Homer: You never fail to nauseate me boy.
Bart: Just call me Barf Simpson.
Homer: I wanted to, but your mother said kids might tease you.

Chief Wiggum: Hold it right there, Switches of Eastwick.
Lou: Switches of Eastwick?
Chief Wiggum: I don't want to censor myself. That's how creativity dies.

Bob: The greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore.
Bart: Oh I haven't gotten to that part yet.
Bob: It's a 4 year old book!
Bart: I'm a slow reader.
Bob: A fitting epitaph... it means last words.
Bob: Are you here to teach me or kill me?

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