The Simpsons Season 1 Quotes
(Bart tries to seek help from a French policeman after he is sent into town by Cesar and Ugolin, and he walks away dejected, because he couldn't communicate in French with the policeman.)
Bart: I'm so stupid. Anybody could have learned this dumb language by now. Here I've listened to nothing but French for the past (Speaking French) two months and I haven't learned a word. Wait! I'm talking French now. Incredible!
(Bart runs back up to the French policeman.)
Bart: (Speaking French) You gotta help me! These two guys work me night and day. They don't feed me. They make me sleep on the floor. They put anti-freeze in the wine, and they gave my red hat to the donkey.
Policeman: (Speaking French) Anti-freeze in the wine? That is a very serious crime!
- Permalink: (Bart tries to seek help from a French policeman after he is sen...
Marge: Homer, I'd love a glass of that wine Bart brought us.
(Homer struggles with the wine bottle.)
Homer: Sorry, Marge. Some wise guy stuck a cork in the bottle.
Bart: (Speaking French) My father. What a buffoon.
Homer: You hear that, Marge? My boy speaks French!
- Permalink: Homer, I'd love a glass of that wine Bart brought us. (Homer st...
(Bart holds a cherry bomb in his hand.)
Milhouse: So, you're gonna flush it?
Bart: What can I say? I got a weakness for the classics
- Permalink: (Bart holds a cherry bomb in his hand.) So, you're gonna flush...
(Principal Skinner pays a visit to the Simpson home.)
Marge: Homer, Principal Skinner is here.
Homer: Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. I'd get up, but the boy crippled me.
Skinner: Mm-hmm. I understand completely.
- Permalink: (Principal Skinner pays a visit to the Simpson home.) Homer, P...
(Principal Skinner tries to convince Marge and Homer to place Bart in the student exchange program.)
Principal Skinner: Actually, he'd be staying in France, in a lovely chateau in the heart of the wine country.
Marge: But Bart doesn't speak French.
Principal Skinner: Oh, when he's fully immersed in a foreign language, the average child can become fluent in weeks!
Homer: Yeah, but what about Bart?
Principal Skinner: I'm sure he'll pick up enough to get by.
- Permalink: (Principal Skinner tries to convince Marge and Homer to place Ba...
(Bart likes the idea of becoming an exchange student in France.)
Bart: And I'd get to take a plane there, wouldn't I, Mom?
Marge: Yes, Bart.
Bart: Wow! And one back?
- Permalink: (Bart likes the idea of becoming an exchange student in France.)...
Cesar: Drink this.
Bart: Oh, no thanks.
Cesar: Do not worry. This is France. (Chuckles) It is customary for children to take a little wine now and then.
Bart: Yeah, but it's got anti-freeze in there.
Cesar: Drink it!
- Permalink: Drink this. Oh, no thanks. Do not worry. This is France. (Ch...
Adil: How can you defend a country where 5 percent of the people control 95 percent of the wealth?
Lisa: I'm defending a country where people can think, and act, and worship any way they want!
Adil: Can not.
Lisa: Can too.
Adil: Can not!
Lisa: Can too!
Homer: Please, please kids! Stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil has a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.
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(Adil clears the dishes after dinner.)
Homer: Did you see that? You know, Marge, this the way I've always wanted it to be. We've become a fully functioning family unit. We've always blamed ourselves, but I guess it's pretty clear which cylinder wasn't firing.
Lisa: Your paper-thin commitment to your children sends shivers down my spine! May I be excused?
(Lisa gets up and leaves.)
Homer: Oh, she's just jealous. She'll get over it. And if she doesn't, we can always exchange her. (Laughs)
Homer: Just kidding!
- Permalink: (Adil clears the dishes after dinner.) Did you see that? You k...