Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Is Oliver there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Oliver Klozoff.
Moe: Hold on. I'll check. Oliver Klozoff! Call for Oliver Klozoff!

Krusty the Clown: Hey, hey, what's goin' on here?
Chief Wiggum: Krusty the Clown, you're under arrest for armed robbery. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say--Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Krusty the Clown: What is this, a joke?

Sideshow Bob: Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
Apu: Yes, yes. I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.

Bart: But, dad, you're giving in to mob mentality.
Homer: No, I'm not! I'm hopping on the bandwagon. Now, come on, son. Get with the winning team.

Krusty the Clown: Hey, kids! Who do you love?
Audience: Krusty!
Krusty the Clown: How much do you love me?
Bart and Lisa: With all our hearts!
Krusty the Clown: What would you do if I went off the air?
Bart and Lisa: We'd kill ourselves!

Good people, I'm so happy you're all here tonight. But please, just a few words of caution. Now, we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze, but because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly, so please stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes.

Reverend Lovejoy

Lisa: Wait a minute. Krusty can't read.
Bart: Okay! Okay! So the poor guy can't read. Can't we get off his back, already?
Lisa: No! Don't you get it, Bart? How could Krusty have been reading a magazine if he can't read?
Apu: Hey, hey. This is not a lending library. If you're not going to buy that thing put it down, or I'll blow your heads off!

Sideshow Bob: Bart, children, this whole sordid affair has been a shock to all of us. But we must get on with our lives. Let's try to remember Krusty, not as a hardened criminal, but as that loveable jester who honked his horn and puttered around in his little car.
Bart: And shot you out of a cannon.
Sideshow Bob: And shot me out of a cannon. Yes, we will never forget that, will we?

Marge: Oh, my! All this senseless violence. I don't understand its appeal.
Bart: We don't expect you to, Mom.
Lisa: If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.

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