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The-simpsons

global warming. Huh, by pure coincidence every scientist was right.

Homer

You're like egg salad at a picnic, Simpson. Even when you look good, we know you're going bad.

Skinner

Lisa: You could do what Everybody Loves Raymond did.
Krusty: Go off the air while I'm still good? That horse has left the stable, gone to the glue factory and has been used to make art projects.

Bart sweetie, this is an opportunity for you to turn things around...yet again. And I believe in you...yet again.

Marge

Alright, 80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall because I think the beef is behind that wall.

Homer

Principal Skinner: I must say, Lisa, it was amusing to see you thoroughly de-high-horsed.
Lisa: That isn't a word.
Principal Skinner: Oooh, back on the saddle she climbs.

It's called precipitation because it never fails to precipitate bad behavior.

Principal Skinner

Excellent! (tents fingers) What am I doing? Untent! Untent!

Lisa

Moe: Read 'em and weep. The novels of Charlotte Bronte.
Carl: I thought we were playing cards.

Homer: You like lies? Here's a few: College is expensive but it's worth it.

Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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Marge: I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!
Homer: But you're also the housekeeper. so it's all good.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 3399 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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