What the? This isn't Halloween.

Homer

Thank you magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.

Homer

You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.

Homer

Homer: Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
Apu: You have been to our schools, what do you think?

Homer: Well good luck assembling all those toys without me!
Patty: We already did it!
Homer: Ah! The ghost of Marge future!

Lisa: Mom, where's dad?
Marge: I don't know.
Bart: Aw it's Christmas Eve man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!

Homer: What I feel is envy.
Lisa: Wow! He's right.

Bart: What's a game show?
Homer: Something you make sketches about.

I want his fame and fortune so much. Why must the lords of rock be so cruel?

Homer

Oh, what kind of erotic asphyxia?

Homer

Yep, it's all about the music and it would take a pretty unforeseen circumstance to make that change. Pretty unforeseen.

Homer

This is embarrassing to admit, but I haven't even thought about gels.

Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

(Picking out a Tuxedo for Bart. He doesn't look pleased with his puffy shirt tuxedo.)
Bart: (frowning) Isn't this shirt kinda gay?
Clerk: Last time I checked, pirates weren't gay.
Homer: Eww, how'd you check?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart