Well family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

Homer

Bart: What's your soda refill policy?
Marge: All you can drink, if you buy a jumbo cup.
Homer: Careful Marge, that's how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.

Mom, it's trash talk. You know how guys say mean things to their friends the way women say nice things to their enemies?

Lisa

She's under a lot of stress, her husband's at sea.

Lisa

Homie, the fantasy draft just ended. I got you five kickers. It is called football, right?

Marge

"Quagmire who? That's an excellent question."

Homer

"My dad gave me a gun to hide."

Meg

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

"You bring home two bands of hippie murderers…"

Homer

How can they say I'm past my prime? Me, the voice of Ovaltine.

Krusty

Bart: I want you to binge watch all the shows you've ever done.
Krusty: I've never said no to a binge.

Rabbi Krustofski: What did the burning bush say?
Krusty: It said ow! Put me out! How many talking bushes do you think there are?

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.