I don't have time for childish games. If I don't do my job, atoms go boom!

Homer

It's like rooting for the Cubs, you keep thinking they'll make it, and then you realize they never ever will.

Don

Well I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.

Lisa

Marge: Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.
Homer: Fine.

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Wow, this place is completely alien, but everything's in English, just like Canada!

Homer

Homer: Look at all these knobs and buttons. They're clearly a superior race. Maybe that means they'll be nice to us.
Lisa: You mean like Europeans were to the Native Americans or the Belgians were to The Congo?
Homer: That's right, pick the only two times in history where things got messy.

They revamped this ride because of massive complaints from two people.

Lisa

What the? This isn't Halloween.

Homer

Thank you magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.

Homer

You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.

Homer

Homer: Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
Apu: You have been to our schools, what do you think?

Homer: Well good luck assembling all those toys without me!
Patty: We already did it!
Homer: Ah! The ghost of Marge future!

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart