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The-simpsons

Dolph: I'm going to kiss the ground.
Kearney: Loser, you're gay for the ground.
Dolph: Well, you're gay for homophobia.
Kearney: Wow, you just made me gay for tolerance.

Honey, Grandpa is the closest thing I have to a father and I love him, but three octogenocerauses?!?

Homer

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Homer

Bart's usually first in line for taco night, but now he's muy tarde. Is it alright to say tarde?

Marge

Homer: Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.
Marge: I don't have any diamonds.
Homer: Quit pressuring me!

If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible. The first one sold pretty well.

Homer

Lisa: Nobody form any opinions while I'm gone.
Chief Wiggum: Well, hurry! We have no minds of our own.

Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil, are a little...pretentious.
Bart: Absolutely...we're talking about Lisa, right?

Todd: We took the pledge.
Rod: We won't have sex until we're married.
Todd: To each other.

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