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The-simpsons

Kettle-corn, the heroin of the farmer's market.

Homer

That's the great thing about art, everyone can have their opinion about why it sucks.

Homer

Simpson, I won't forget this. From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys.

Nelson

Dolph: I'm going to kiss the ground.
Kearney: Loser, you're gay for the ground.
Dolph: Well, you're gay for homophobia.
Kearney: Wow, you just made me gay for tolerance.

Honey, Grandpa is the closest thing I have to a father and I love him, but three octogenocerauses?!?

Homer

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Homer

Bart's usually first in line for taco night, but now he's muy tarde. Is it alright to say tarde?

Marge

Homer: Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.
Marge: I don't have any diamonds.
Homer: Quit pressuring me!

If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible. The first one sold pretty well.

Homer

Lisa: Nobody form any opinions while I'm gone.
Chief Wiggum: Well, hurry! We have no minds of our own.

Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil, are a little...pretentious.
Bart: Absolutely...we're talking about Lisa, right?

Todd: We took the pledge.
Rod: We won't have sex until we're married.
Todd: To each other.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 3391 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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