The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Oh Marge I can't stand it when you cry at dinner. The pork chops look traumatized, the mashed potatoes can't stand to watch, even the children seem upset.

Homer

Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, your new teacher is...everybody pray!
Principal Skinner: This is a public school
Superintendent Chalmers: I said pray!

Wow its working! I guess the instructions were in English

Fry

Attention goblins, Madison Cube Garden is filled with Butterfinger bars and people are laying fingers all over them

Lisa

Bender: My ass is about to project something
Homer: You don't have to announce it, just do it quietly and blame the dog

Lisa: You know, they look a little similar
Bart: Yeah, like the guy who designed Bender just took a drawing of dad and stuck an antenna on it
Lisa: A little lazy if you ask me

Don't drink my loved ones

Homer

Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't.

Bart

You always do the right thing...sort of.

Marge

Wait, I finally get what you're saying. Fracking is great, but the only place it should ever happen is in other people's towns.

Homer

I appreciate the counsel Simpson, now please trap door yourself out.

Mr. Burns

I demand to see that capitalism castrating suffragette this instant.

Mr. Burns
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 3437 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!