Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Homer: I am as healthy as a horse.
Marge: Horses only live thirty years.

A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.

Milhouse

He's just Ralph with a dream, the dream of not ralphing.

Lisa

Homer: Whoo hoo! I've got a date with my daughter!
Cletus: Yeah, we've all been there. No need to act like you just invented air conditioning.

I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.

Milhouse

Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?

Patty

Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.

Skinner: So from now on our cafeteria will only serve delicious Stuffwich's heroes, hoagies, and torpedoes.
Nelson: What about po' boys?
Skinner: Sorry, Nelson. Poor boys, such as yourself, will go hungry.

The only thing that keeps me from living here is that fish that swims up your pee stream. That is a deal breaker.

Homer

Skinner! I have seven other principals, and I've never yelled their names. Not even once.

Superintendent

Why are you concussing yourself? Why are you concussing yourself?

Dolph

Emojis! Now she's gone to far.

Homer
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 3391 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
x Close Ad