Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates from LinkedIn.

Homer

Princess Kemi: So, all these concubines belong to this one tyrant?
Homer: It's called The Bachelor.

Princess Kemi: I think he is a sweet, sweet man, but when I kissed him it was not romantic, more like when Snow White kissed Dopey.
Moe: No, no, not this comparison again!

Moe: Do you mind riding a cute little scooter with your arms around my waist?
Princess Kemi: I don't!
Moe: To the scooter store!

Homer: She's gone!
Moe: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.

Sorry Marge, but I am the royal babysitter. If I start watching commoners, the tongues of the court will be a wag.

Homer

Those smart cars are cutting into our business. We used to get uber amounts of work giving people lifts.

Taxi Driver

They say you catch more flies with honey, I say with fly traps.

Mr. Burns

The only reason you haven't been fired is because your file here has been holding up a sofa that was missing a leg.

Moe

Look Moe the least you can let me do is anything I want.

Homer

You guys cost me my chance with a woman of a certain age!

Moe

Homer: Marge I believe you're forgetting America's greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.
Marge: It's not that Professor X wouldn't get up, it's that he couldn't!

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart