Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!

Bart

Lisa: What if Santa's Little Helper stops being a police dog, then he can get a non-violent job like barking songs on novelty Christmas records. You can do it, boy!
(Santa's Little Helper's barks 'The Dreidel Song')
Lisa: No, boy, that's Hannukah!

I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.

Bart

D'oh! Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?

Homer

Homer: There sure is a lot of corn in this parking lot.
Lisa: Dad, we're in the MAZE!

Farmer: Wagon wheels were the Internet of the 19th century!
Bart: Really?
Farmer: No.

Displaying quotes 10 - 15 of 15 in total