Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Scott Christian: Why did the clown cross the road? To rob a Kwik-E-Mart. The news story behind that enigmatic half-joke right after this commercial message.
Homer: Wait a minute. Bart, you know that guy on your lunchbox?
Bart: Oh, you mean, Krusty the Clown?
Homer: He's sort of a hero of yours, isn't he?
Bart: Are you kidding? He's my idol! I've based my life on Krusty's teachings.

Judge Snyder: Can it be that the champion of child literacy can't even read himself?
Krusty: Is it a crime to be illiterate?
Prosecutor: All right, all right. See this, Krusty? (Holds up an evidence label with a "B" on it.) This is a "B." And this is exhibit B. (Holds up betting slips.) Betting slips--obtained by this court indicating that you have lost substantial sums of money on sports gambling.
Krusty: Is it a crime to bet on sporting events?
Prosecutor: Yes, it is!
Krusty: Oh.

My young friends, for years I have been silent, save for the crude glissandos of this primitive wind instrument. (Holds up slide whistle.) But now, destiny has thrust me into the center ring. In the coming weeks, you will notice some rather sweeping changes in our program. Please do not be alarmed. Itchy and Scratchy will still have a home here. But we will also learn about nutrition, self-esteem, etiquette, and all the lively arts.

Sideshow Bob

Krusty, I'm man enough to admit I was wrong, and I'm sorry I fingered you in court. I sincerely hope that the horrible stories I heard about what goes on in prison are exaggerated

Homer
Displaying quotes 10 - 13 of 13 in total