I'm whizzin' with the door open... and I love it!

Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?

(singing) God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody. Rain came down, it started to get muddy, muddy. Get those animals, out of the arky-arky.

Flanders Family

Homer: God Himself told me I should seek a new path.
Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, really...
Homer: Yeah. He appeared before me in a dream, and I knew that was special because I usually dream about naked... Marge.

We interrupt this public affairs program to bring you a football game.

TV Announcer

(Homer is watching The Three Stooges)
Lady: You must be the three chyropractors I sent for, now start manipulating my spine.
Curly: Hey Moe, we don't know anything about manipulatin'
Moe: You heard the lady, grab her spine and get crackin.
Homer: Hehehe.. Moe is their leader.

I'm all naked and wet!

Marge: Homer, are you actually giving up your faith?
Homer: No! No no no no no...well, yes.

There you go again. Always taking someone else's side. Flanders, the Water Department, God...

Insurance Guy: Any valuables in the house?
Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars--
Insurance Guy: Sorry, this policy only covers actual losses, not made-up stuff.
Homer: Well that's just great!

Barney: What are these axes for?
Chief Wiggum: I dunno, chopping stuff.
Barney: Gotcha. (chops down the Simpson's mailbox)
Chief Wiggum: That's some nice choppin'.

You ducks are really trying my patience! But you're so cute!


The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 3 Quotes

Boy, everyone is stupid except me.


Bart: Hey, where's Homer?
Marge: Your father is... resting.
Bart: Resting "hung over," resting "got fired," come on, help me out here!