I just want ONE mother f*cking delicious moment.

Andy

Gabe: Happy birthday to Gabe.
Nellie: Oh get out, Skeleton Man!

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Warehouse Guy: Coconut Penis.

It gets better, but it also gets vastly more complicated.

Robert

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

I'm the f*cking lizard king.

Robert

Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.

Gabe

Is it just me, or is our boss a freakin' weirdo?

Harry

You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!

Dwight
Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 172 in total