I just want ONE mother f*cking delicious moment.


Gabe: Happy birthday to Gabe.
Nellie: Oh get out, Skeleton Man!

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Warehouse Guy: Coconut Penis.

It gets better, but it also gets vastly more complicated.


Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

I'm the f*cking lizard king.


Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.


Is it just me, or is our boss a freakin' weirdo?


You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!


Harry: Who the hell are Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute?
Erin: Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

Erin: You're gonna be alright.
Kevin: No. No he's not.

The Office Season 8 Quotes

A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.


Dwight: Can you tell me now where paper comes from?
Kevin: The man tree puts its penis...