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I just want ONE mother f*cking delicious moment.

Andy

Gabe: Happy birthday to Gabe.
Nellie: Oh get out, Skeleton Man!

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Warehouse Guy: Coconut Penis.

It gets better, but it also gets vastly more complicated.

Robert

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

I'm the f*cking lizard king.

Robert

Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.

Gabe

Is it just me, or is our boss a freakin' weirdo?

Harry

You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!

Dwight

Harry: Who the hell are Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute?
Erin: Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

Erin: You're gonna be alright.
Kevin: No. No he's not.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 172 in total

The Office Season 8 Quotes

A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.

Kevin

Irene: What kind of tea is this?
Erin: Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.

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