Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant "lame." And now it means a man who makes love to other men. We're all homos. Homo sapiens.

Michael

(crying) Jim is g-gone!!! He's gone, I miss him so MUCH!! OOH, I cry myself to sleep!!! JIIIM!! (stops crying) False. I do not miss him.

Dwight

You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.

Michael

Michael: I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?
Toby: I think Oscar would like it if you just used "lame" or something.
Michael: But that's what faggy means!

The Office Season 3 Quotes

Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.

Dwight

Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.

Michael