And where it asks you to state your business he wrote, "Beeswax, Not Yours, Inc."


Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice... strike three.


Roy: Hey, remember when we were planning our honeymoon and you wanted to go to Hawaii and I wanted to go to Mexico?
Pam: Yeah.
Roy: I was definitely right.

Roy: [clapping] Mike, you are a rock star, man. You are the man! Well done.
Michael: All right...
Roy: That corporate booty, he likes to hit it!

Dwight: Michael! Michael! There's an emergency in the warehouse.
Michael: There an accident? Somebody hurt?
Dwight: No, it's... involves the photograph.
Michael: Oh. God. No, no, no, no, no.

Angela: OK, we only have three hours people to plan a whole luau, and you're not helping.
Karen: What are the ingredients of poi?
Phyllis: I called every grocery store in Scranton, and no one sells whole pigs.
Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Toby: Hey I need to talk to you right now.
Michael: Not now, not ever.
Toby: About you and Jan.
Michael: Aww, none of your business.
Toby: Wish it were true, but it, it uh, seems from that photo that you took, you've entered into an intimate relationship.
Michael: That photo is my personal property and if you are telling me you went on my computer and stole that photo, then I am going to call the cops.
Toby: Michael, nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife... we don't talk now.
Michael: This is probably the icebreaker you need.
Toby: You know, for your own protection, you should disclose the relationship to HR.
Michael: I bet you would love all the details, wouldn't you? Skeevy little perv.
Toby: All right, if you're having a relationship with your superior, you must disclose it.
Michael: No, no, no. I am not dating Jan. She was very clear about that. Just two like souls having a romantic time in the most romantic place on earth. Got enough, weirdo?
Toby: All right, thanks Michael.
Michael: OK.

Jim: Hey, thanks a lot.
Pam: Oh, don't worry about it. I mean, it's better than listening to Michael play a conch shell... which is what I was doing. Oh, also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan!
Jim: Oh, yeah, How have we not talked about this already? I mean what happened there? Kidnapping?

No, I didn't mind helping Jim with his problem. That's what friends do. I help Phyllis all the time. Just yesterday, I untangled a piece of tape from her hair. So, yeah.


Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey.
Pam: You OK?
Jim: Yeah.
Pam: You sure?
Jim: Yeah. Yes. Um, I'm just in this, like, stupid fight with Karen.
Pam: Oh. You want to talk about it?
Jim: Really?

Jim: Yikes.
Kevin: Already sent it to you my friend.
Jim: Fantastic.
Andy: Boring. Call me if she rolls over.

Michael: Darryl?! Hey. Hi. Where's Darryl?
Roy: He's in the office.
Michael: OK, Hey, man, how's it going?
Darryl: All right, what's up Mike?
Michael: That's great, OK. Um, so did you get an email from me?
Darryl: Yup.
Michael: OK. Well, that was supposed to go to Packer, not "packaging." Did you already, um, forward to a whole bunch of people?
Darryl: Uh huh.
Michael: OK. Um, well, did you get the second email that I sent? Explaining that the first email was a mistake and that you should delete it.
Darryl: Yup.
Michael: And you sent that out to everyone?
Darryl: Mike, I'm very busy down here.

The Office Season 3 Quotes

Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.


Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.